My life sucks. I feel like there's no point anymore.

[PersonalClown]

Feel free to ignore me. I just need to write this down to see if I feel any better.(Not likely)

I bumped into an old friend today and as we were chatting I realised that my life is shit. I have no goals, prospects etc. It's just all pointless.
I have realised that I am probably at the start of a major depressive crash but I can't seem to pull myself out of this one.
I've stopped eating properly, I can't sleep even though I'm exhausted, have no energy or enthusiasm for anything, I've been crying on and off all day but I daren't really let go and bawl in case I hit rock bottom. I can't bear to feel suicidal again. It scares me.
My family are indifferent, I don't have a lot in common with my friends (opposites attract) I don't get a lot of help with Ds (ASD) and I've realised that I will be be single forever. After all, who wants a almost 30 single mum with a 5 year old autistic boy?

Nope, don't feel any better.
My life sucks.
If I didn't have this place, I think I may just have lost the plot by now.

you know where we are and the doors always open.

i know i havent been around much lately, but am always there for you my dear.

have you seen the GP?

PC - you have identified the problem yourself - you need a goal. Take one small thing each day and try to achieve it. I mean Small - like do some ironing, walk to the Shops, dye your hair. Anything that is "normal".

Keep posting we are always here at some point.
x

I actually DID dye my hair today, well parts of it!
I have purple streaks now.
I am off to the Docs in the morning to make an appointment.
Ddin't make my feel any better.
Even chocolate has lost it's appeal

you need a plan.

something to do each day. once ds is out the door to school, get in the shower, get dressed and do soemthing. preferably with people and not something on your own.

what do you WANT to do? is there anything you want to change about yourself?

whats happening with driving lessons?

That's the problem. I have no idea what I want to do.
I stopped the driving lessons for a while due to stress of getting Ds' statement, into school, moving etc, Then had to wait for them to find me an instructor over here, never heard back and just never really followed it up.
I only started lessons because I'd had enough of my mother whinging at me to.

can you restart them?

i dont know what i want to do with my life in general. but just need to get out each day otherwise i sink into despair easily and find it hard to crawl back out.

i think peter is taking the girls out tomorrow, i am waiting in for fridge/freezer to be delivered, (mine has almost died on me), if it comes early enough do u want me to pop over, or you to come here?

kids have got a day off school tomorrow.

but my mobile had been lost so email me djmisdee hotmail com

you have an awful lot going on there, you do sound as thou you have depression, glad to see you are going to see your doctor, i hope you can get something to help you.

I'm going to attempt sleep. See if I feel any better in the morning. Thanks all for listening to me waffle.

Without going into details, I'd say my daughter, now 31, felt much like you did two or three years ago. So much had gone wrong for her and her life seemed very pointless and as if everything she did turned to failure

You wouldn't believe how different her life is today, things just gradually turned around. My point is that yours might well too, there's every chance that one day you will look back on this and see it was a 'blip' - and be so so glad you hung in there.

Must add that my 20s and 30s were my worst years too (I'm 50 now and never been happier) - please don't think this is all there is and it can never get better! Thinking of you and hoping the GP can help you.

why dont you start working part time? or study something that could lead to a qualilifation you've always wanted?

i have been severly depressed since August (suicidal), i have found the things that help me are seeing lots of my family and friends that are "happy" people, rather than people i know who are moaners and pessimistic!
Make sure you do something like go out each day, i work part time and this is saving me!
Enjoy your children and have a really good laugh with them.

i do also feel my life is pointless and i keep failing at everything, but it is gradually getting better.
i am on ADs and although they made me worse at first, i think they are working now..?

severely

Take 1 min/1hr or 1 day at a time. Set small goals and celebrate each one you achieve. I know it is difficult but you can do this. We each can find the strength we need deep within with the help of friends.

If you want to look at another website that deals with depression you could try looking at www.dealingwithdepression.co.uk everyone on there suffers from or supports someone suffering from depression. I have found them to be nonjudgmental. A lot of the mums on there have children on the spectrum and offer each other a lot of support.