I can’t go on feeling like this

[wombatsandaplant]

I’m autistic and can’t articulate my feelings well.

All I know is that I feel atrocious and awful and down and bad but I can’t tell you why.

All I want to do is jump off something but my family have taken away access to my car. I want to self harm too but have no access to anything that would work well enough to even bother trying.

6 weeks ago I was at rock bottom, and I mean rock bottom. I thought I was getting better, which I was, but now I feel like I’m going down hill again. I’m not at rock bottom but I’m bloody close.

All I want to do is stop feeling like this but I don’t how to stop it, then only way to know is to die or self harm. Neither of which I can fucking do.

Help me please. I don’t know what to do.

My dads partner who is my main support is in London till Sunday and my dad is currently in a meeting for at least another hour and I don’t know what to do.

@wombatsandaplant it takes courage to write things down well done. Sorry you feel this way.

Can you take socks off and wiggle your toes? Try and separate each toe and wiggle it separately? Then take your fingers and give yourself a massage around your temples and brow and work round your face? Then do some jump up and downs. I know it all sounds silly but its a distraction technique.

Also try the 5 things you can see, smell, hear, taste etc. and some relaxing breathing on you tube?

You can also try the samaritans

I went searching for my stuff they took away and I ended up self harming. I’m okay though, physically at least.

All I want to do now is do it more and more now. But I can’t my dad took away my stuff. I hate this.

I just don’t want to do this anymore.

The urge sounds really strong for you. Thats good you are ok physically. You sound distressed . Can you talk to your dad or his partner in london?