I’m a single parent, I’ve just ended what seemed to be a bit of a toxic relationship despite me and him trying for years, he would behave more like a single man enjoying going out for pints with his mates (which is fine / that’s his choice) but his choice of lifestyle and mine are suited. Also other issues not seeing eye to eye not understanding/ breakdown in communication which led to me not really caring anymore.
Anyway I feel like an absolutely rubbish person right now. I have become paranoid and dare I say quite insular and seem to have a complex that I am a bad person which is to do with the break and also me having flashbacks to old times.
At work I have had to report someone who is not doing their job properly and mopping up the pieces as a result. This has made me feel awful but I am getting complaints from service users which I then have to take back to management. I actually like and get on with the person which is making these even worse.
A few of my close friends have gone distant since Covid and now we rarely speak and I’ve stopped trying to arrange to meet as it never goes anywhere.
I have confused about my worries to a few good friends who reassure me I am a good person.
I am supposed to be having counselling but the counsellor is off sick.
My focus is on my children, first and foremost and our home and Pets. I kind of feel low and like I’ve lost my identity. Also going from being and speaking to someone a lot to nothing is very difficult.
My eldest son is going through a hard time and is very critical of himself and has body issues. Again he’s on the waiting list for help but I am trying to support him when my MH is at an all time low.
Can anyone please offer any (kind) words of advice please? Thanks x