Does anyone else hate being a mum?

[Sky1992]

So I'm sure I will have plenty of comments telling me I didn't deserve to be a mother and yes that is probably true but does anyone feel like they regret choosing to be a mum?
I feel like parenting feels so much harder during the holidays. No matter what I do my twin Girls keep fighting and crying all day. I'm struggling potty training them and they are turning 4 in Feb. I'm not sleeping enough I'm sick of my own intrusive thoughts because I'm struggling being a mum. I hate it. I hate the sleepless night, lack of freedom, not being able to even eat a meal without them digging in too. I really thought I wanted this I desperately tried to become a mum and did to an amazing 8 year old and a set of twin girls 3. But i am just really failing. I don't know how much mee longer I can cope like this. I did have postal psychosis and depression and have been better for around 2 years but I am constantly having relapses I'm constantly going back and forth in feeling suicidal to wanting to live. I feel sick to the stomach that I get jelous over people who have passed away wishing it was me. I'm sure I have borderline personality disorder but I can't get help the stigma around mental health is disgusting! It would ruin my career as a teacher. To think in September I'll be doing my PGCE. I'm so happy at work even when it gets tough i keep a cool head but at home I can't handle it anymore. I just want to know does anyone else feel like this or felt like this and if so what did you do?

Much love. It is certainly tough. Do you think it will be a little better once your twins start school?
Also, to say I also know a teacher who is very busy, under pressure and cool at school but finds it hard and is snappy with her own children.

Don’t be hard on yourself. Your twins are at a tricky age and I am sure things will get easier. Are you on medication for depression at all? Have you spoken to your GP?

Im on Anti-Depressants and they do help a little. Is there anyone close you can speak to. Do you have a partner, parents or close friend and can you talk to them?

Hugs x

Do you know what? I think it's just twins. Throwing an extra one into the mix. I absolutely adored being a mum to my 3 year old but I now have 10 month old twin boys (who I absolutely love to pieces) and my god, it's hard work!! It's destroying my mental health! Like you say you just can't go or do anything. I don't think pandemic helps though!!!

You are definitely not alone. Have no words of advice I'm afraid! :(

I love my twins but hate being a mum. Iv had cbt before iv been on anti psycotics even then. And there is such a stigma around mental health as it is. I always thought this is what I wanted, children a family and now that I actually have that I just want to get away from it all.

Do you have a DP or family who could help with the children for a little while?

How did you feel being a mum to one, before the twins OP?

He does help but really not enough and iv tried to explain how its making me feel but he himself doesn't have enough time he juggles two jobs to make sure ends meet. I work too and it's sad but the only time I'm actually happy and free is at work. At home it feels like a prison same thing every single day. Life before the twins I was happy and I did want another single baby. My son was a perfect baby I enjoyed being a mum, I assumed my womb was making good babies lol

It’s not a mental health problem. Parenting is just shit. Anyone would suffer and struggle in that situation. Unfortunately by the time you realise what a burden kids are it’s too late and you just have to ride it out.

@Amima I’m not sure it’s that clear cut. Yes patenting is hard, and twins must be even harder. But for someone with poor mental health that can make parenting harder, and in turn the parenting can make the MH issues worse.

I hear you. I don’t have twins but have 2 boys (8 and 6) and I find motherhood a daily struggle, often feeling I’m barely teetering on the edge of a breakdown and regularly fantasising about a hypothetical existence without kids. Of course I love them but I certainly do not love being a parent. I find most days overwhelming, mentally and emotionally draining and don’t like the person I seem to have turned into since having kids. Covid and no family support haven’t helped. Not sure what the answer is but just wanted to say you’re not alone. 💐

It is soothing to hear I'm not the only one who feels like that. At times I beat myself up mentally thinking I'm a rubbish mum to think like that. I'd say I hope it gets easier but so far it hasn't. I love my kids but hate the extras that come with it

Another one here - you are defo not alone !! I don't have twins but my kids do nothing but fight no matter what we do I beg shout plead please just get along... they will for about a minute... im so fed up totally lost im happy at work and dread driving home often think oh if I just crashed and killed myself poof easy way out but I can't do it I don't put them through it... holding ur hand xxx

Seriously it's a twin thing it must be! I have 3yo twins and 5 Yr old and they kick my ass everyday . Just a constant shitfight. No three seem to be happy at the same time. I love going to work so much. I hate parenting I didn't feel like this when I just had one. Solidarity. Weve potty trained one but the other just won't!!!

It's sad how many of us actually feel like this but scared to open up to many people about it or even raise awareness. I always feel like I'm doing a rubbish job and always feeling suicidal like it's a get out of jail free card. Some must genuinely enjoy it but surely not everyone experiences the same thing right. Thank god whoever in the past stood for womens right and that means today we get to work. I genuinely don't think I'd be alive if it wasn't because of having a job to go to in the morning. Quiet sad but very much my reality

There is not another job in the world that I can think of that requires you to give up every single last moment of your time and energy, reduces your physical and often mental health, expects you to be available day and night and to never have time off to recoup state from sickness - because it doesn't allow you time to get sick in the first place. Not one. Never mind one that expects you to do all that, for no pay AND not only to never complain, but to actually enjoy it every single second of every day!!