I don't know why I'm here any more

[Leannedunn123]

Long story short, I don't talk to my sister or brother but they talk to each other. My children's dad left me a year ago so I have taken on all the financial responsibility and being there for the kids. I don't talk to my mum since she divorced my dad. I have walked out on my weekend bar job yesterday because a customer came in and said am I fucking invisible because I accidently mixed up who needed to be served next and the manager said I was the one with the attitude and humiliated me Infront of anyone so I walked out. I feel like I don't have any friends other than 1 who I have been friends with a long time. I feel at rock bottom. I'm sitting here alone on the house, no one to talk to. The kids are with their dad till Thursday and I just think whats the point. No one calls me except my nan to check on me and ask if I need any help. I'm only here for the kids and to be a mum bit other than that there's no point.

Have you seen your GP and told them how low you are feeling?

Do you want a relationship with any of these people?

It can be incredibly difficult when everything builds and you reach a breaking point, Is there no one at all you speak to? You are most certainly not invisible and I can guarantee there are people that love and would miss you terribly.

Please look after yourself x

Yes I am on anti depressants have been for 6 months and upped my dose in that time aswell. They don't want a relationship with me and cut me off. There's been times in the past I have apolagised even though I didn't feel anything was my fault just to have a relationship with them but then I just get treated worse so no longer have contact. No I would call my dad but he is on London with his girlfriend this weekend so don't want to pester him. I just wish someone cares about me and was always there for me but I'm so alone

Your nan cares about you clearly and sounds like maybe your dad does too also one friend- so 3 people. Your job situation was obviously very upsetting but you'll be better off in another job. You're still young and can steer your life in a different direction. Your doing your best being a mum which is an amazing thing, bringing up young people and forming their character. That is an amazing purpose to have. You still have this- with or without your job and regardless of other relationships. You still have your kids, nan and dad and friend and in time maybe you will meet a new man or almost certainly make new friends. You can help yourself feel better yourself by changing your thinking. I understand its hard but you have to change your thoughts into something positive. The past doesnt equal the future and things could greatly improve for you once you start having some goals for yourself and working towards them. Good luck x