First of all, I’m sorry for anyone who has lost a sibling, or someone close to them. I can only imagine what you’re feeling and when I do try to imagine what you’re feeling, I feel stupid about what I’m about to post,
Last year. My DSis worked from the start of the pandemic on a covid ward. She was selected because she is a great nurse, but also, and probably mainly because, she is single and childless.
She worked more than full time, living in temporary accommodation, without the correct PPE, for months. She caught covid, badly, and none of us could visit. She is obese and was ill for longer than we expected, but still none of us could do anything. I was genuinely terrified she was going to die.
Other things happened during that period that have been difficult and stressful. I have sought help and brought these things up in therapy. But for some weird reason, it is only tonight that it has occurred time to link part of my decline in mental health to this situation .
I’m not trying to blame anyone. I’m just trying to piece my way through this awful time to understand what I feel now.