I can’t say no

[PopiLongJon]

I have a total inability to say no to requests from people I know. On the odd occasion I’m asked to do something/go somewhere and I’m not able to I feel so horribly guilty and it eats me up. It’s leading to me looking after children when I don’t want to, spending money I don’t have to lose, and generally leaving me with nothing for myself.

I don’t have anyone I feel I can turn to for help, yet everyone seems to turn to me to support them and I’ve run out of fuel. I’m worn out.

I am guessing I have depression but I’m not keen to take antidepressants as I gained a lot of weight last time.

I would like to reclaim my life. Where do I start?

Anti-depressants wont help with this. It sounds like this is a self-esteem/assertiveness issue. Learnt to set boundaries. 'No' is a complete sentence. It is hard, and I get it too. You don't want to let people down or be seen as a bad person.

Are there any sort of IAPT services local to you? They often have self-esteem/confidence courses you can go on that may help with what you are going through.

I think some assertiveness techniques or training would help.
I'm fine at saying no, but I worry ridiculously about things like asking my gp for a referral, or ever even questioning him.

Speak to whoever it is about how you feel and emphasise that you will be doing some work on yourself to be able to be more honest with them when they make a request- which could result in a decline which they need to prepare for.
If you fund saying this to hard, write an email/letter to pass onto them.

There are alot of self help tips on how to say no to people and it will need a bit of practice from yourself to do.

Just start one thing at a time

Something in your early life has made you equate being liked with saying yes - it's called a core belief. Have a read through this and try the exercises at the end of the article.