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I feel close to breaking point..

15 replies

Anon24 · 06/08/2021 16:36

I don’t know if I’m posting in the right place here, but I’m having problems with my DD (6).

I’m not really sure on how to explain so please bear with me and make of it what you can! Any advice, words of wisdom or just kindness will be very much appreciated!

Firstly food - she will eat cereal (not always with milk), toast (with jam or chocolate spread), sandwiches (jam or chocolate spread, not with butter), yogurts, actimel, fruit, dry cream crackers, dry plain breadsticks, crisps, biscuits, chocolate, sweets, cheese and garlic pizza, garlic bread, spaghetti bol (up until a couple of weeks ago), sausages, chips, chicken nuggets/dippers (unless they look ‘different’ to what we usually buy), a roast dinner for her is carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, cabbage, she won’t eat any roast meat. And last night decided she doesn’t like carrots and broccoli. This is about her lot for food.. and she refuses to try anything new.
I’m a bit concerned that she is deciding she doesn’t like some of these things anymore and I can’t get her to try anything new to add to her list of “likes”.. any advice on this please?

Secondly sleep - we have always had a 7pm bedtime, she goes up to bed fine, we have a story and a cuddle and then she has some time for her own reading. She gets up 5/6 times through the night, most nights. I can’t figure a reason for this waking! If she wakes before I am in bed then she won’t go back to bed until I go to bed. I’m shattered! Again any advice to help her stop waking? She looks tired constantly and always says she tired but just won’t sleep!

Thirdly water and noise - she is absolutely terrified of rain and running water, to the point of if it is raining just a little she cries, screams and physically shakes in fear. She won’t be in the same room if a tap is running, be that running a bath or filling the sink to wash up. She thinks it will overflow and flood. Even when I am stood there next to the tap waiting to turn it off. She is fine in the bath, paddling pool, water slide so it is not a fear of water itself. We have talked about why we need rain and what the garden would look like if we didn’t have rain and she understands all that but just doesn’t like it! I have explained about the little drain hole in the top of the bath and sink so she knows there is no way it can overflow and flood because the water would go down there and out into the drain outside.
As for noise, she doesn’t like the sound of the rain, loud music, bangs, fireworks, airplanes, even an electric toothbrush..

Lastly weeing - she seems to be constantly sat on the toilet! It doesn’t matter how much or how little she has had to drink she wees for England! If we are going out I ask her to go to the toilet, she can go several times before I have managed to get my things together to leave the house. And then as soon as we get to where we are going 10 minutes journey or 2 hour journey she needs to go as soon as we stop..
She won’t drink water, she drinks orange squash and has one carton of OJ a day. Sometimes a cup of decaf tea.

Any advice anyone can give me on one or all areas I would be very grateful.
I’m mentally and physically exhausted at the minute and feel so close to breaking point as I don’t know what to do next. My tears won’t stop today 😢

OP posts:
Cailleach · 06/08/2021 18:05

Her issues with food, sleep and sensory sensitivities are all strongly suggestive of ASD.

Cailleach · 06/08/2021 18:07

Sorry posted to soon. It may be worth reading up on autism in girls.

FreeBritnee · 06/08/2021 18:17

My first thought was ASD too.

wineandsunshine · 06/08/2021 18:18

As above, thoughts were ASD - can you write this all down and speak to the school senco? Or even look for advise through your local authority website.

Baileystruffle · 06/08/2021 18:25

Orange squash (and most other squashes) can irritate the bladder so could be the cause of her needing the toilet constantly. If she has issues in this area it really is best to go water and milk only- I assume she drinks water at school?

Anon24 · 06/08/2021 18:38

@wineandsunshine school is out until September so I will take a look at your other suggestion for advice. Thank you

OP posts:
Anon24 · 06/08/2021 18:40

@Baileystruffle she has weak squash in her water bottle at school (as suggested by her teacher) because she was going all day without a drink due to me sending water in her bottle Confused

OP posts:
ODFOD21 · 06/08/2021 18:44

School will not diagnose ASD they will only recognise it if diagnosed by a GP. So you're better off getting the ball rolling and requesting an assessment via your GP ASAP xx

ODFOD21 · 06/08/2021 18:45

But I'd still let school know

NeverSurrender · 06/08/2021 18:51

Apart from the weeing sounds just like my dd at 6, diagnosed with asd as a young teen. It was dismissed as a younger age because she did so well at school, but became really obvious when she started secondary.

Anon24 · 06/08/2021 18:51

Thank you @ODFOD21 I will make an appointment with the GP for next week.
I tried to get an appointment today before posting here although the appointment system was "offline" 🙄

OP posts:
LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 06/08/2021 18:52

@Cailleach

Her issues with food, sleep and sensory sensitivities are all strongly suggestive of ASD.
My first thoughts too. The frequent weeing could be anxiety or a UTI. Anxiety can also cause night waking. The worries about water overflowing sounds like they could be caused by anxiety. CBT with a good child psychologist may help. The noise issues are probably sensory. You could try ear muffs if she'll wear them, or you can get small noise blocking ear plugs for children. Though my Autistic noise averse boy can't wear any of them.

Honestly I'd shelve the food issues for a while. I know how frustrating it is, but I'd serve her what she'll eat and start with the sleep issues. With that many wakes a night you are both chronically sleep deprived. Lack of sleep tends to worsen both sensory issues and anxiety. What time is it lights out and when is she actually going to sleep? Being overtired can cause frequent waking, went through that with DD10. An earlier bedtime may help. When she was 4 I had to spend a couple of months on the floor of her room on a mattress getting her back to sleep as soon as she woke. She slowly got more sleep, but melatonin was the lifesaver. I
know a lot of families with Autistic DC who use melatonin, short acting for going to sleep or slow release to stay asleep, or a little of both types as advised by their doctor. This could be worth discussing with your GP. Also asking about a referral to a paediatrician to seek help with the sleep issues.

I'd see your GP as a first step rule out any medical issues. Tell them what you've written here. The frequent weeing needs at least a urine test to rule out UTI. I'd want a referral for Autism assessment and a referral to see a paediatrician for the sleep issues. An Occupational Therapists can help with sensory issues including noises and food.

wineandsunshine · 06/08/2021 19:49

Good idea - keep a note of everything you notice as it builds up an evidence diary.

My son was diagnosed with ASD two years ago at six and he is under a dietician.

School can't diagnose but they can certainly offer teacher observations and evidence they have noted in addition to yours.

Good luck op

Wintercoffee · 09/08/2021 19:23

Strongly agree with others about ASD. Especially her food intake. Hope you get all the answers.

Anon24 · 11/08/2021 08:51

Couldn't get a face to face appointment with GP and could only discuss one issue on the telephone consultation.
We've done a water sample which came back clear and got bloods booked.
Will need to try to make another appointment for other issues once we have bloods done and results back.

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