Feeling trapped and isolated

[Missrissy]

Hi all,

I'm just after a bit of advice as I've got no one to talk to and I really need help.

3 years ago I moved 70 miles from London (my hometown) to a seaside town in order to be with my partner, he's got a 7yo daughter here that he can't be too far from. We've now got a 1 year old daughter and I'm a stay at home mum, I am seriously struggling with it.

I know being a stay at home mum is mentally challenging as it is, but being away from my home and friends and family as well is so tough. I find myself crying hysterically every day on my own. I feel like I don't fit in this town, I don't seem to have anything in common with people around here, and where I'm so introverted, it's really hard for me to make friends and form a bond with people. What's worse is I don't drive either, so I'm restricted to the local area which is very hilly and not ideal with a pram. My partner isn't comfortable with me taking our baby on public transport because of covid. So most days I'm just stuck indoors doing the same routine day in day out.

My anxiety is sooo intense every morning and it gets even worse when my step daughter comes to stay because I know I have to put on a face and hide my feelings, I hardly ever get to speak to my partner when she's here because he's always busy with her, which makes me feel even more isolated.

Everytime I try to speak to my partner about this, it always ends up in an argument because he thinks I'm trying to blame him, or thinks I'm being negative towards his daughter, which I'm really not.

My parents and grandparents are all dead, so I don't have the help from them that most other mums my age have.

I just feel like I am trapped with no way out of this, I've taken antidepressants in the past when my parents died, and I don't want to start taking them again as it was a real struggle for me to get off them.

I'm sorry for the long post, but I really have no one to talk to. Please can anyone offer any advice on how I can resolve this x

Hello, not much to offer, but a hug. I’ve been there and it’s awful, sympathies. Maybe try the church baby groups? I found them to have nice people in.

So sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. I moved to a new town when I was 8months pregnant with dc no2. I felt so lonely, and desperately wanted to move back to my friends and family. I've always suffered from terrible anxiety but it got far worse. Once baby arrived, I forced myself to go out and explore the local parks, exchanging smiles with other parents. Then I started going to rhyme time at the library, initially I managed to avoid interacting with anyone but my own children. With time I grew in confidence and started being able to chat with the other parents. This gave me the confidence to try the different parent and toddler groups. Some were hideous, never went back, but a couple were really welcoming and I started building friendships. Some of those friendships have lasted 19yrs now.