I’m done

[Hippopotas]

I’m fed up of life. Everyone would be happier without me

I’m such a fucking failure.

I'm so sorry you feel like this? Why do you think people would be happier without you? I'm sure that's not the case.

Would it help for you to talk about why you feel a failure? Feelings won't always be this way, things can get better.

Keep talking Hippopotamus, we're all here listening.

I’ve just been given notice for a job I gave everything to. I’m off with a chest infection at the moment but they say I have conduct issues which have never been mentioned previously and I think it’s just an excuse. They want me back in from Monday to work my notice in the office but I can’t face it.

I haven’t done anything wrong at all but I still feel like I have disappointed my DH. He says I haven’t but I have I know it.

Can they really do that to you? How long have you worked there? It sounds like they haven’t followed proper procedure.

Your posts suggest there is more going on than this one blip. Losing a job is awful but wouldn’t on it’s own make someone feel that everyone would be better off without them.

Do you have DC?

What type of contract were you on and how long have you worked there?

May I politely suggest you will be at a massively low ebb due to a chest infection.
The situation with the job sounds awful.

All the best op, if it helps, can do take things one day at a time, and even if you disappoint people, can you keep doing the best you can each day ?

I’m too much of a coward to kill myself. What if there is nothing after death. I can’t decide if that would be better or worse than an afterlife. At least I can’t fail at nothingness.

Just tried to write a list of what I like about myself. All I could come up with is that I’m smart and like animals.

My dislike list filled two pages before it just descended into a stream of my conscious thoughts I just couldn’t stop.

I loathe myself.

Your DH would be devastated if you were gone.
Tell him how you are feeling and look after yourself so the chest infection can get better.

That's two amazing qualities you've listed there - and if you expanded on them you could come up with a much longer list of positives.

Are you feeling feverish with your chest infection? I say this as I once had flu when I was already depressed, and a high temperature made me emotionally feel a lot lot worse. Please tell your DH how you are feeling, and try and keep on top of things that might make you feel better, like paracetamol if you are feverish, and getting enough fluids.

I'm so sorry about the job - if your not feeling up to going in Monday then don't - it sounds like they're treating you badly, so I wouldn't go out on a limb to get back in ASAP, it sounds like you need to recuperate