The loneliness is unbearable

[noseyaf]

I have found that as I have grown older I find it very hard to make friends. I've only lived in the uk about 7 years and have made one friend who I rarely see but speak on the phone to or text every few months. Life gets in the way I suppose. I'm a lone parent too and have given up trying to find love. I have found that I now tend to isolate myself I guess as a way to guard myself from rejection, be platonic or romantic.

My only source of socialising is either on the school run when I say hi to another parent in dd class, my one colleague or the person running the till when they do make small talk. I am very lonely and dd who is 6 is really my only friend. Today was my birthday and so I said to her we could go out to lunch and while there she could go to softplay to which she declined. I felt shattered and it really struck me that I have no one else. My dd one Christmas even said mummy why didn't Santa bring you a present as I chose to spend on her than myself and didn't want to buy myself a gift and wrap it just to make believe for dd.

I just wanted to let my feelings out although you may not fully grasp all I was trying to say as I am very emotional.

I hear what you're saying OP. Have you seen the app Frolo- it's for single parents, they have meet ups online and in person and you can connect with other single parents in your area

Do you get any free time for yourself without your DD Op?
I think ‘meet up’ is supposed to be good too.
What’s your job like, do you meet people there?
I found a lot of my friends in adulthood at work.

I am so sad to read your post especially as you come across as a lovely person who loves her daughter very much. There are people out there who would love to spend time with you. I would spend more time trying to chat with others at school or the park / playground. Lonely people are often nearby and waiting for someone else to start the conversation. The weather is good so make the most of it.

Happy Birthday! X

Happy Birthday x
I know how you feel

Hi happy birthday 😊

You didn't mention your job/career. This is really the only way I've been able to make friends as an adult through work, study, and groups not related to parenting. I only managed to make one friend in nearly a decade of toddler groups! If your current career path is a lonely one, what about retraining in a job where you will be with people more of the time? You will improve your social skills even if you don't make best buds with the people you work with.

Happy birthday!
Agree that you sound like a lovely person. Definitely try the app.

Happy birthday OP! You sound lovely and your post made me sad.

I wonder why you've put those barriers up and if you could find a way to start to bring them down a bit? You sound lovely and I bet you could make friends if you were in the situation when the opportunity presented itself.

I'm so so sorry you feel this lonely. It's a horrible feeling. It's hard to make friends when you are a single parent and have young DC. But it is possible, and as PP say, you do sound nice.

Can you start just by joining in with some things, not with any expectation of developing friendships but just to get you used to socialising.

Do parents at DC's school go to the park after school ever? Could you hang out there and just chat with them a bit as DC play?

Do you have any interests that you could start to take up - maybe online at first if you don't have anyone to care for DD.

I agree with PPs that single parent social meet up groups would be a good idea too. They will put on the sort of event you can actually attend - like family picnics or cinema visits.

If your DD goes to any sort of club - swimming or gym etc, can you try to get chatting with the other parents? Again, not to make friends but just to get a bit of practise at making small talk and having someone to chat to a bit about your week.

You could also maybe look up some books and online videos/websites and podcasts on how to make friends. It's really hard when you feel lonely and desperate and depressed but if any of these have advice that you'd feel comfortable trying out, it might help.

to you.