First time mum, constantly worrying about my baby.

[EssJayyCee]

My LG is almost 6 months old, I've had a long hard battle with Reflux and CMPA and it's taken a knock on effect on me.

I can't stop thinking things are wrong with her now. She does something and I worry.
She doesn't do something and I worry.

She's a very whingey baby and she doesn't like anyone but me so it's very full on and I never get a break.

I was referred to perinatal mental health but it was bumped to regular mental health, I am currently doing an online CBT course for depression but I don't feel like it's beneficial to me at all.

I just want to be able to look at my baby and think "aww look at her doing......"
Rather than "why is she doing that, what's wrong with her, she's not being a normal baby"

I can't cope anymore. And I wish I hadn't even had a baby some days. It took us 2 and a half years to conceive and none of it has been how I imagined and I hate that I am not happy or content with my new life and my baby.

Please advise me. I'm so lost and broken.

Oh lovely one
It is normal to worry a bit
And I can imagine that if you've had a long time ttc that it must be hard
Maybe talk to gp?

I sometimes feel I'm looking out for what's wrong rather than what's right, I totally think it's a FTM thing and if you were the same in pregnancy it's natural for it to carry over a bit. However to feel so down means you need more than shitty CBT and probably antidepressants lovely. Honestly, you'll wish you took them sooner once they're in your system and yes you may feel bad for the first two weeks but stick with them and you'll be so much better HONESTLY.

@EssJayyCee how is ur baby now?