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I dunno how to do this

4 replies

Idiotathome79 · 22/07/2021 23:58

My world is falling apart
A little back story , I have bipolar and emotional deregulation been up and down
For years , married for 25 years my husband was very abusive coercive and manipulative he never hugged me when I was sad or held me just because , we have children . I ended the relationship after he got aggressive with my autistic daughter .
Since then I got close to another man , but we couldn't work the logistics ( he worked London 4 days week lived Wales saw his 3 girls weekends I live back ass of devon husband rarely has his children for very long I would of have it a good go but he was worried one of us would get hurt) that upset me , then my 18 year old son moved out ( there is a thread somewhere) i struggled with that really badly not to mention I've just gone back to work after 8 months off ,
But my mental health is struggling , I can't cope with anything minor, I get upset over everything and see the negative side to
It , I realise now I am always going to be alone , whilst my ex has it easy and 2 women on the go ( he likes
To tell the kids who sadly tell Me)
Take today my daughter wanted to go beach and was wearing a sweater I asked her if she was planning on wearing that to
The beach she shouted at me and I went to pieces ( she has asd)

I am lonely , unhappy and sad all the time at least when my husband was here I wasn't ever alone , some days I only see my two youngest and my grandson
And then work ( I don't see my
Colleagues very often it's a lone worker job ) .
I just don't see what value I have anymore , I didn't expect to feel so lost all the time .
I cry at adverts , songs and even when I saw an elderly couple on the beach he was helping her across the sand it made me cry .

I don't know what to do but I think
I am pushing my other eldest children away .

OP posts:
rainbowninja · 25/07/2021 23:03

Hi OP, sorry to hear life feels so tough right now. I can relate a bit, had a very difficult father who my mum divorced after 20 years and its left us with a lot of issues.

You sound resigned but there's always hope if that doesn't sound too trite. What treatment have you received for your bipolar and most importantly does it help?

Idiotathome79 · 08/08/2021 09:25

Sorry been off social media for a bit.

The bipolar unfortunately I have a dr who believes meds are the only way.

I was fighting tht till recently but as things have worsened I agreed to trail them

I am also awaiting some therapy,
I am also very lucky that my older daughter is a mental health nurse ( although at time she drives me mad ) bug it has it's bonus's

I know I have to keep reminding myself I asked the ex to leave for all the right reason but there's so much stress and guilt involved in that , for example he's a poor father puts himself first abs I have none that for a while but it's never been more evident than it is. Now .
I have to beg him for help
With the kids whilst I work he brings them back early when. I am not home so that he can go home to shower ( it's his Flat and there for can not leave the kids unattended incase they poke about )
I am lucky in the sense he helps
Financially with the children.
Out of 6 children the only one who
Will happily go to dad is the 6 year old and that's I think because he likes her atm as soon as they have an opinion it's changes .
But for some stupid ass reason I feel the guilt because they don't want to spend time with him .

OP posts:
rainbowninja · 11/08/2021 21:49

Hi @Idiotathome79

I hope you feel ok on the new meds, what sort of therapy are you hoping for? Do you find what you eat makes a difference to how you feel?

I feel for you with your ex and wish it could be straightforward but I know how difficult it can be to manage parenting with an ex partner - even though it wasn't right for you to be in a relationship anymore he still has to be in your life because of the children but that can cause huge stress. You sound like you are doing great with not a lot of help. Feel free to vent!

PepperPepperMan · 11/08/2021 21:57

You sound like you are doing a fantastic job with what you have been given/left with.

I read an eyes wide open article the other day, I’ll try and find a link. Us women have spent our prime filled with baby making hormones and lots of other hormones that kept us at the forefront of being us.

As we get older, it’s all depleted and we are left with no armour, nothing to mask how we really feel. Stranded and alone, pushing everyone away…

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