I need help don't I?

[Backofbeyond50]

So over the last two years especially I have been under pressure/stress mainly due to dd suffering from anxiety. Which has renderered her unable to attend school or even leave thr house at times.
Bar lockdown I had the daily stress of whether she could make school, whether we would get CAMHS support or be taken to court over non attendance. After a lot of toys being thrown out of the pram I finally got some CAMHS support and tuition for dd.
Yet the stress remains. She had been diagnosed with HFA and still doesn't always make lessons which are virtual or f2f CAMHS appointments.
I am on edge all the time and sometimes teary but always figured it was reactionary rather than anxiety or depression.
Yet youngest dd on ADHD pathway finished year 2 today and I just realised that yet again she has been overlooked for awards. She is sensitive and notices too
I have been in tears most of the evening whilst trying to hide it from dds That is clearly out of proportion isn't it and I should contact GP or will they think I am daft.. I can still find joy in things for example.
Thank you .

Hi there, so sorry this has happened. I can relate when my son being overlooked for awards because of being neurodiverse. In his case he didn't seem to notice and happily clapped for his friends, which made it even more heartbreaking. One has to get a thick skin in these situations and tactfully bring it to the attention of the school next term. Well done for hiding your emotions from your daughter. Although you perhaps ought to acknowledge her feelings of unfairness, so that she feels validated and that deep down you know she's a star. 🌟

Please do speak to your GP. I am in a similar position (except DD had a meltdown and couldn't go through with her ASD assessment last week) I have been "coping" on my own (also split up from DH last summer) but have hit a bit of a wall recently. My GP has been very supportive and I'm just waiting for a therapy appointment. Please fon't suffer alone

I get you. You are not 'depressed' as such, apart from the situational difficulties. Which are big, constant and close to home. The saying you are only ever as happy as your least happy child is very true.
I would look into support for carers, most local authorities have them as I believe there is a duty of care. Join some groups for ADHD and HFA. Make sure you carve out a little bit of time regularly just for you - you need to put your own oxygen mask on first so you can care for the others. It will also be good for your children to see a mentally healthy role model - even if you start with a candlelit bath once a week!

Thank you everyone. Usefully tips. I do have a partner but he doesn't spend so much time on the coal face so to speak as he works full time. I work part time. Unfortunately even when not working the kids will go to me not him.

@Backofbeyond50

Thank you everyone. Usefully tips. I do have a partner but he doesn't spend so much time on the coal face so to speak as he works full time. I work part time. Unfortunately even when not working the kids will go to me not him.

Yes, I too split from my husband last autumn, and he also found it difficult to connect with the children. I was / am at the sharp end all the time, so I know what you ladies are saying. It's so tough! On a daily basis it was a struggle to get my son to school (year 8), so I'm now thinking of specialist boarding school for him. Do see your GP as pp have said. Even something to help you sleep will take the edge off.

Thank you again and sorry to those struggling. Actually I feel better this morning. Got some of the hurt out of my system last night.
Hoping the summer will be better as the stress of getting dd2 to attend lessons and dd3 to school is over for now. Just therapy appointments to deal with.
Will try and get GP appointment though.

I don't think you need help with your mental health as such but rather help and support with your daughters. You are under an extreme around of stress and no amount of counselling or antidepressants is going to alleviate that. Could you approach social services, maybe? Ask if they can offer any support, perhaps with a home learning program or similar? A bus for DD3?

My cousin has mental health problems and social services arranged for his 2 brothers to be picked up by a private school minibus that collected a couple of other kids in the area. Took the stress out of mornings for my aunt as she didn't have to worry about getting the other 2 to school if my cousin refused to go.