low after an argument handhold please

[AngrySad]

Can I have a handhold please. This is a bit long so no need to read necessarily.

Just had a discussion that I turned into an argument with parent and I was completely out of control. Partly ASD.

I’m now having low thoughts but am safe from serious harm. I’m pinching myself to get through and keep myself calm (think ASD strategy.) I’m feeling low because I started being assertive but (have just started some psychology around this.) I stated why I wanted to do any why but when that was not accepted I started shouting/scream. Completely unacceptable even from a toddler. I hate myself.

Psychologist is private and not able to deal with this type of more urgent situation. GP very difficult to contact - not in any MH service currently.

I’m actually wfh but on web chat which is currently quiet. Will be on phone helpline and not sure what my voice will be like.

Bump

I'm sure others will be along with good advice but in the meantime try to dislike your behaviour rather than 'hate' yourself. Have you tried the STOPP technique

Hate never helped anyone.

Didn't want to read and run. Are you able to apologise for losing your temper? Would that make you feel better?

Have done. I’m calmer now. Going out to diner tonight and not looking forward to it (socialising is hard!)

Well done for apologising. Hope dinner went OK! Better than being alone with your thoughts, maybe :)

Yes it was OK. You’re right it’s the quiet bits that allow more time for thinking. I’m going to pick up my mindfulness- I know it doesn’t help everyone and isn’t instant but it doesn’t hurt me either.

Sounds good :)