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Social anxiety or am I just boring?

1 reply

lostandlonely20 · 14/07/2021 17:10

Hello, I'm struggling a bit at the moment because I can't work out if I'm having social anxiety due to the lockdowns, or if I am just quite a boring person. I moved abroad 2 weeks before the 1st lockdown, so didn't meet anyone here until the summer when I was pregnant. I was trying to be careful about not getting corona but met a handful of people here, some pregnant, some not. In Autumn I lost the baby and then we went into lockdown again for 8 months. The friends I met who weren't pregnant moved back home due to corona, and for obvious reasons I didn't feel like meeting up with my still pregnant friends.

I spent the winter in lockdown only seeing my husband, medical professionals and supermarket workers. I got pregnant again at the beginning of the year and have been pretty isolated. Other than my husband I just speak to my Mum every day.

Now we are out of lockdown I'm thinking it would be nice to meet some new people. I just met up with another mum who my husband knows through work. It was really nice to chat to her, but I came away thinking I had just been really negative and boring, and that she probably wanted me to leave, and maybe I overstayed my welcome but I'm struggling with social cues having not had any for the last several months. It's hard because life has been pretty negative for me over the last few months and maybe that is coming across in what I talk about.

I'm really afraid that my social skills have just disintegrated, but not sure how to work through them - if you think someone is negative and boring, would you want to hang out with them again?

Normally I would join a club or somewhere where it's not one on one but I'm also trying not to meet big groups of people due to not being vaccinated (it's not being recommended for pregnant women where I live).

I feel like lockdown has really screwed me up socially, and having to make a whole load of new friends, rather than just slotting back with old friendships is really hard. Does anyone have any advice on how to work through this?

OP posts:
HelloMist · 16/07/2021 16:19

Hi OP,

It's worth remembering that there could be lots of others feeling the same way, so it's not just you finding it difficult to slot back in. I've seen less of friends. Going back to any groups will definitely feel strange, and a lot has happened in people's lives in this time.

I'm sorry for your pregnancy loss Flowers. Congratulations on your new pregnancy. I suppose all being well you'll have new things to talk about soon! (Not that I think most people would think you are boring).

Could you meet just one or two people, outside, to reduce the risk? I still prefer to do it this way. You could find a cafe with outdoor area or in a garden. I think most others will understand if you still want to be cautious right now.

There are apps to meet other mums (/mums to be), if that sounds like an idea to try.

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