I'm so unhappy, I don't know how to get better

[Inkdrinker]

I've been depressed for too long. I've tried so many different medications that even my psychiatrist has no idea what else to do. I've asked and asked for trauma therapy but they won't do anything. Just add more pills. Just do this or that. I want to be happy but I don't think I ever will be. I don't want to die but this is so hard. I keep trying. I keep plodding on and nothing get better. I'm no good for my kids or my partner.

At the moment try and have one small goal of something positive each day. Even if it is something simple like a favourite book or hot drink to look forward to. Baby steps. I would return to your doctor and tell them everything you have told us here. I do hope you can get some help. If you feel very bad please phone The Samaritans, they are always there to help.

I just want to offer a handhold.
I'm where you are and it's awful. I'm now having trauma therapy at last but it's really hard (EMDR if you want to look it up)
I'm having to pay privately (I'm not in UK any more so can't give you advice on that).
I have bipolar, have done for years and years, but the last two have been horrible, unbearable really.
I just wanted to reach out because if you're like me you probably feel very much alone.

It's just so hard. I'm finding every day so hard. I just want to stay in my room all day. I don't want to do this. My partner is so supportive but he doesn't understand. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve any of this. I feel so alone with all I'm feeling. I can't get how I truly feel out because I can't verbalise how I'm feeling. I can't put words to how I feel. I feel like I've died already.

I'm sorry life is so hard right now Icedrinker. Eekay too. I am in a similar position with poor mental health and struggling every day. But I've just switched to a new antidepressant and I'm seeing a nice counsellor so hopefully things will change. I too worry about being a burden to my partner but it's good that we have loved ones close by. Wishing you all the best.

I think you need to kick up a fuss OP, unfortunately that's what it has come to with the NHS as it's so much cheaper to give you some pills and send you on your way. Keep going back, see a different GP, burst into tears, ask for a second opinion, tell them you need a referral on repeat over and over as you're not coping. You need to make a fuss because if they can fob you off they will.

Hello, sometimes there are counselling who charge on a ‘What you can afford’ basis. So it may be worth asking someone . Sometimes there are charities. If you can afford emdr I would pay for it, it’s very effective. It can be ok effective if you can find a you tube video and a friend - but obviously don’t go accessing any deep traumas. Keep it on something small. But even a small thing can alter the system and help.

And kick up a fuss!

I don't know if it will help but you could try this course;

www.udemy.com/course/online_course_for_help_with_depression/

Kain Ramsay is no nonsense, easy to understand and you can watch the videos at your own pace.

Thank you all for your kindness. I'm feeling a little better now. I've noticed a definite link between my suicidal urges and my menstrual cycle, so perhaps that's part of the issue.

I'm still exhausted and I know this sounds awful but I honestly don't enjoy being a parent anymore. I got the pool out for the kids today and all they did was argue. I've planned a movie night tonight with the kids and I can guarantee more arguments. I just don't see any positives to it at all.

So my doctor requested an urgent appointment with my psychiatrist a little while ago and this 'urgent' appointment is in October 😥

Glad you're feeling a bit better Icedrinker. Hormones can do horrible things to us. And you're not alone in not enjoying parenting - I'm struggling with that too. I think my daughter is wonderful but she's also really hard work.

I'm sorry you have to wait so long for your appointment. I've been calling the Samaritans a few times lately just to talk to someone sympathetic about my difficulties. Maybe try that sometime?

I’m sorry life is so difficult. I had a friend like this and it broke my heart and then she shut me out. Long story, just a very kind hearted message to remind you to reach out, keep talking, keep fighting. If not for yourself, do it for your kids and partner who adore you.

I am the same and have had endless therapy over the years, medication, nothing helps, I'm permanently unhappy and tired and I've got worse in the last two years, so I understand