Carve out time?

[WhyMrsRobinson]

How? Especially at weekends. Dh had to work, and I wanted to but whereas he goes into his office and is undisturbed I..clean up kitchen, unblock washing machine, put stuff away, listen to Dh. Moan, give dd a lift, cook dinner, and somehow the day is gone.
It’s the same in the week. it’s taking so long to do anything. I am overwhelmed at the sheer endless stuff there is to do. I’ve been meaning to give myself a pedicure and realised I’ve been meaning to do that for at least a month! How do I get more streamlined to carve out time?

MrsRobinson My only advice would be to get out of the house. Obviously, it's more difficult at the moment with covid but...it is one of the only things that work for me. I have young dc and can't just switch off when at home (though it is getting easier by the month). Husband has no choice but to look after dc when I'm out. I've had to be brutal with demanding me time as I have mental health issues and going through the peri. menopause so really need to take time out. A couple of hours out here and there does me so much good, I feel my mood lift. For so long I've carried on (a bit martyr like) until I got to a point where I felt like I was breaking. I've realised that the best person to care for me is me...and I'm definitely working on it.

This said, housekeeping standards have slipped. I maintain hygiene around the house/wash clothes etc. but do much less tidying. The dcs are not good at tidying up. I think I've give up to a large extent with tidiness these days.

You have to leave the other stuff and put yourself first.

@Cutex507

You have to leave the other stuff and put yourself first.

This. 👆🏼 For eg book a pedicure. You’re less likely to forgo something you’ve paid for. As for the rest, practice doing it on your terms. So choose the music you lie or silence when you’re giving DC lifts. Park up or come home via a café etc.

Good ideas, thanks all. Daphnesmate07, I hope you are not feeling too Crap. Very interesting to hear you kept going to long. I think that’s the tendency. you also made me laugh, I like how you’ve let standards slip. Not sure mine can slip any more! I think also whole house is tatty and needs painting, depressing!
Cutey and Etinox, that’s a good idea. I guess it’s about small wins- a nice podcast while doing dishes etc. Actually I think I Just Need A Holiday. And not in a cottage where I cook and clean and shop and pack either. Why don’t I have a butler? And a housekeeper. And a gardener. And a...sigh!

I know what you mean about the tattiness MrsRobinson there are all these jobs that husband is supposedly planning to do which are banking up. Dcs have annihilated paintwork (house freshly painted when moved in), carpets etc. now. Thanks to perimenopause and the fact that I've cottoned onto the fact that I want to do things for me, I have run out of energy to 'keep the house nice'. Plan B is to escape the house as much as possible so I don't have to look at the above issues.

Also good advice about making choices, however small in relation to things YOU like and yes, you are more likely to attend things you have paid for. I frequently fantasise about a break away on my own. I reckon I'm going to go for it when the dcs get a little bit older (and after I have worked on the small things first so it won't be a complete shock to the system).

Daphnesmate07 you sound like a woman after my own heart! I dream of pre kids when I travelled. Dp can’t seem to manage if I go out for a night, let alone a week.
I’ve tried to do the organised mum method, which is great - if I stick to it! It’s astonishing how long a shower can go without being scrubbed. And am with you on the paint work. How? How does it get so chipped and grubby?
I had a really good career, flat, life and then I get accidentally pregnant and now look. Unemployable, crappy house, miserable Dp. Am so over this.