PND / depression or just life weariness?

[Brightthing]

I am not absolutely sure and feel like a bit of an idiot speaking to my GP. My life is great, I have a good job, supportive DH that does stuff around the house, lovely home, lovely friends and family etc etc.

But I am feeling really sad. I had my baby 15 months ago at the start of lockdown and the last few months I’ve been feeling a bit empty, down, but the main thing is these real mood swings where I’m being snappy and angry for absolutely no reason. I’m being irrationally angry about tiny things and turning them in to a huge row. I get teary and sad thinking about things and often have intrusive thoughts about DH dying and leaving us. I am also having terrible procrastination, I’m WFH and can literally sit for hours willing my brain to start working and yet it won’t. I’m missing deadlines and just not doing work, I have no idea where my motivation has gone.

My son has started going through a sleep regression so I’m knackered and a bit unhappy with my job but otherwise my life is great. I am wondering if these symptoms are a symptom of anything bigger or is this just grown up life with a baby and husband?

Bump

I could have written that post, just with a few months added onto DC's age! I have no answers - I have wondered about PND but I keep thinking "I'll just wait to see how I feel when I'm not so tired". I'm still waiting for a night without at least 3 wake-ups. But almost everyone I have spoken to is feeling pretty flat and low at the moment. I think there's some odd psychology about spending over a year waiting for things to "get back to normal" and then feeling let down because it's not going to go back to normal really for a long time and we still need to make decisions with covid in mind and everyone has got a bit worse at socialising.

Yes that’s exactly how I feel, I have been waiting for this feeling to pass for a while and always excused it as being something else - sleep deprivation, hormones, lockdown etc . I’ve also been waiting for lockdown to pass and then i guess I’m surprised it hasn’t happened as I expected

I don’t have young children but do feel really down and unmotivated right now.
I have worked all through the pandemic and thought I’d find winter hard but kept going as we had Summer to look forward to.
Now Summer is here, the weather is crap and restrictions are confusing.
I feel really flat and friends are saying the same. Just feels like there is nothing to look forward to apart from another uncertain Winter.

I had a call with my GP earlier who said I might have a referred PND in which I basically had so much stress from having the baby during the first lockdown that I have been coping for the last year and now that everything is opened up again it’s my brain’s way of now revealing it. Almost like I’ve been running on adrenaline for the last year and crashing now

I’ve got a referral to speak to the mental health team

That's a positive step. Make the most of the help offered to you. I hope the coming months and whatever treatment you decide upon help to improve things for you.

Similar to a previous post, I could have written your original post!

My DD is 20 months but it’s I’m feeling the exact same. I have a pretty full on job too, although it is doable, I just stare at the screen for hours and then work into the early hours trying to make up for the lack of work I’ve done in the day. This is obviously made harder as my DD is an awful sleeper. I also have a 3 year old so I’m absolutely run ragged with work and them.

I did struggle with pre natal depression with my DD and my Dr signed me off for a few weeks. I keep thinking about doing this again to catch up with myself and rest on the three days a week my kids are at nursery. Is this a cop out or should I just suck it up and carry on. This is the internal argument I’ve been having with myself for weeks. What will I tell people why I’m off? Feel like I’m constantly failing at everything.

I hope you all are finding a way of coping, I just feel like I’m constantly on edge.

That's great that your GP is being supportive OP and I hope the mental health team can help you feel less down. I fluctuate so much between feeling like I really need some help and then feeling positive and on the way up, which means I never quite go and ask for help. I also worry that I wouldn't be offered anything but antidepressants, but I think my problem is mainly lack of sleep and lack of space to process some really difficult experiences that have happened to me in the last few years.
I've also got a 3 year old (who also isn't a great sleeper), and feel like I'm on edge most of the time. I do think about calling in sick, just to give myself some breathing space but I worry that I would just feel more stressed because I know work is building up.
Sorry - no helpful advice here! Just sympathy.