Hi I'm on my last chance with my partner and kids . I've battled with my mental health for the last 20years , on/ off medication and turn to drink as an escape.
It always makes me feel better when I'm drunk but I always react and spoil every party/get together with arrogant,childish,pathetic immature behaviour.
I have contemplated suicide many of times and did so 20years ago. Luckily I came back from that darkness but everyday is still a battle . I've been in touch with the crisis team and been back doctors for tablets again. I know what I need to do I just struggle mentally. Can anyone advice extra please. I'm no angel and act so childish my partner is on her last chance she will give me, my kids want me to stop drinking which is something il be working on. They want me to stay and not leave but I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to make it up to them.
If I go I'm afraid that there lives will be better and happier without me here so I'm really confused.
I've battled for years now and enough is enough. Any advice would be greatly appreciated....