How to help my sister?

[Creamcustards]

She lives far away (about 3 hours drive) and has been suffering with depression for a while

I think it started with stress, which turned into anxiety, which turned into poor performance, which turned into a lot of negative self talk, and now here she is 18 months on, off work sick for the forseeable, on medication, having therapy but not getting better

I don’t want this to be her life now. What can I do to help her? I want to just take her on holiday, give her a change of scene, help her come out of it i atead of going deeper in. I’m aftaid that she might be going deeper in but I don’t know what to do??

Can people ever truly recover from depression? The few othe people I know of with it seem to havenit all the time and never recover , please tell me this isn’t true?

You sound lovely, having a supportive sister will be so important to her. Honestly the best thing you can do is just say I am always here to listen to you. When you’re depressed nothing is worse than people trying to help you get better. It’s my experience that you don’t really get cured, you more learn to manage it well. If things go wrong for me I can still fall into depression very easily. It helps knowing my loved ones understand that I can’t help it and can’t make myself better. Also, therapy will take a while, it isn’t a quick fix.

Thank you for taking the time to answer.
I am really upset though that she will just live with this forever now??
She was a happy person before Covid, and now she is quite possibly going to be managing depression forever?? This just makes me sick to my core to think about because she doesn’t deserve it and has so much potential for joy in her life!

She has a partner who she got together with just before lockdown and he has a history of depression. I don’t think he is suffering at the moment (or at least not as bad as he has been in the past) but I almost feel she has “caught” it from him... that’s ridiculous, right? You can’t catch depression? But she was fine before and now suddenly she is constantly exhausted and weepy and demotivated and anxious and I wish I could take it away somehow

Yes lots of people recover, maybe she needs different medication or therapist, sometimes you have to try a few things .She may like a holiday but do not expect it to be a cure. Do you keep in touch if you cannot visit often? just being there for her is the best thing you can do.

I try tomkeep in touch but she often doesn’t answer the phone (to anyone, not just me)

That can be one of the symptons of depression. It can take many forms and there are lots of reason why people get it but if you think she is getting worse I would advise her to go back to the doctors. By the way apparently covid has caused a lot of people to feel depressed but no you can not catch it!

She might not be managing it forever. I just meant that my experience is it’s something to be managed rather than cured. If you go into it trying to make her ‘better’ the pressure might actually make her worse.

Even if is managing depression long term, it doesn’t necessarily mean she will always be depressed and have severe symptoms. What I meant was more than she might have long term therapy or have to learn coping techniques.

Hey , I just wanted to say my experience with my brother … my brother was a happy happy man before he met a girl who was depressed , long story short , after couple of years being together, he got very very depressed himself . I don’t think you can catch depression but I do think it affects you soo much Being around depressed person who only has negativity and mood changes and fighting that you’ll turn into a negative person yourself and depressed ,he’s mission was to try and help her get better but couldn’t and ended up being super depressed himself at the end . this is so sad but it’s a fact . now I am stuck with my brother extremely depressed and I don’t know how to help him . I’m so sorry about your sister and it’s the worst thing ever to experience not knowing how to help them . that could also be what happened to your sister .