Dependent personality disorder - anyone else?

[Flexibleowl]

I have been in counselling for quite a long time but I’ve come to the conclusion that I am probably suffering from dependent personality disorder.
I don’t know how much having a label matters but it does make me feel as though it’s less my fault.

I cannot make decisions. At all. Ever. I really envy people who can. I have to ask everyone I’ve ever met to help me make a decision and then I take the decision that will annoy the fewest people. I don’t ever consider what I want and then I don’t even know by the time I’ve asked everyone else.

I agree to loads of things I don’t want to do so no one gets upset

Despite being an adult with my own dc I am overly reliant on my parents and don’t like to upset them, especially my mum.

The thought of upsetting anyone, even a stranger or someone I don’t like, gives me gut wrenching anxiety.

I don’t feel capable compared to everyone else. I will always go with what other people think, even if I don’t think that’s right.

I always think other people are better than me, with better ideas.

I was diagnosed with a chronic, and potentially life threatening, illness as a child which is apparently a risk factor for developing this and I think this is largely what has happened. I went to university but my parents were constantly on the phone or visiting. The subtle message has always been that I need taking care of and that I’m more vulnerable / less able than everyone else.

The not being able to make a decision is driving me crazy. It’s really having a majorly negative impact on my life and I don’t know what to do about it. The saying yes when I want to say no isn’t much better, but the decision making is hopeless.

Has anyone had this and overcome it?

I recognise so much of what you say in myself. Currently trying to make a decision to relocate which I desperately want for myself but will upset my family hugely and I cannot decide. I keep casting around thinking who can I talk to that will validate my decision to go so I can feel like its all OK. Also was unwell as a child and had a hovering mother for life as a result. Weirdly at work I'm very capable, confident and easily make decisions but I can't seem to be like that for myself. Do you feel like you cling to routine and what's known and safe to you? Be interesting to see if anyone comes along who has overcome this.

My mum is overprotective, she meant well and means well but she does do a lot of ‘you wouldn’t be able to do that.’ Ive made a lot of decisions in my life based on what will keep my mother happy, I would struggle to relocate away from her because I know she’d be so upset. It’s a difficult decision. Objectively you have to do what you want but I know how hard that is.

At work I’m not much better to be honest. I tend to think everyone knows better than me and is more competent and can do a better job. I’d much rather follow and someone else lead.
I’m not academically stupid, I just never feel I can cope with life like normal people can.