ADD or just normal teenage behaviour

[Holymoly64]

My 14 year old son's reports over the past few years have mentioned him being easily distracted in almost all lessons (even when he was separated from his naughty classmates), his school exercise books are a total mess, his school materials at home are a total mess (I buy storage boxes but they never get used) - everything is flung all over the place, he leaves clothes all over the house, in a recent exam he missed essay question a) going straight onto essay question b) that was directly under question a) (which I thought was really bizarre) and he said he didn't notice question a). I've seen him a school prize-giving ceremony (he wasn't getting any prizes) - but he seemed in a total daydream even when it got very lively and riotious which I thought he would have enjoyed. A friend of mine is having her child assessed for ADHD and I'm not wondering if my son has ADD. In contrast to the above, he can really focus on things he likes and when he was little he seemed completely fine (although at primary school, I was doing all the organising for him). I looked up ADD and the NHS describes the symptoms as:

having a short attention span and being easily distracted
making careless mistakes – for example, in schoolwork
appearing forgetful or losing things
being unable to stick to tasks that are tedious or time-consuming
appearing to be unable to listen to or carry out instructions
constantly changing activity or task
having difficulty organising tasks

That seems like a really low threshold for diagnosis as I would think lots of teenage boys would be like this. For those who know more about ADD than I do (I only know what I've just read), do you think my son might have ADD or do you think it's just standard teenage behaviour.

My Dd has ADD. She was diagnosed a year ago aged 12. She has all of the above plus a tendancy to lose her temper when overstimulated. I think the difference is that mess in bedrooms/desks/bags is normal to some extent but a child without ADD would be able to sort it out quite easily.

DD doesn't know where or how to begin. She also won't remember how to stop it happening...so no matter HOW many times I tell her "Don't put cups on your windowsill because the blinds always blow in the wind and knock them off" she simply can't remember it...nor can I tell her "Remember to put your homework on your desk and don't screw it up in your bag...keep it in the folder"

She'll just screw things up and seems careless.

Being forgetful and losing things...ALL the time. Jumpers just forgotten on the playing field...constantly. Not now and then.

Just get him assessed.

I would ask for him to be assessed but not specifically suggest ADD. Dyspraxia can also cause some of the issues you mention. I am Autistic (diagnosed) I suspect with some ADD/dyspraxic tendencies (not diagnosed) and I was a lot like that as a kid. I am still prone to day dreaming, try to be organised but executive function is tough! Definitely look into getting him assessed. I was diagnosed with ASD as an adult, life has been better since I found out.

Many thanks for the replies. My son can tidy his room to a very high standard in about 10 mins flat and used to lose things bit isn't so bad now. Re assessment, where do you get that done. My friend tells me there's an 18 months waiting list on the NHS and lots of the places she researched in London have terrible reviews.

My ds is nearly 15 and was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago. He’s also disorganised like that - he was put on report on Thursday and managed to lose his report card after the first lesson! He also really struggles to organise or even visualise time, so can’t plan or think ahead. And of course he had the distraction issues. He too can really focus on things that interest him and make quick progress - this is a trait of those with ADHD. Ds also has the ‘H’ traits of being compulsive.

For ds’ diagnosis it seemed to be critical that school were on the same page (they had to complete a questionnaire and so did we). Interestingly, they’d never raised an issue about ds (other than all the behaviour points he used to get for missing homework or boisterous behaviour) but when all the various teachers completed the questions, a definite theme emerged.

I would warn you though that medication, while it helped, made ds feel low/flat and not himself. But I do think the diagnosis helped his self-awareness and it comes with more attention and understanding at school.

We went to a local centre which seems to focus on youth mental health alongside various conditions like ADHD. We went onto their website and did a self referral. Ds is now under the psychiatrist there.

Unlikely ADD would only appear as a teen, no?

Adolescence is a big thing so don't write it off as "just" teen stuff. Some teens have a very rough time indeed during adolescence. Is he able to talk to you or his other parent or a family member about whether he recognizes he is struggling with these issues?

What have you done to incentivise him to concentrate, and is he able to make any progress at all?

It's quite likely that age 14 he really doesn't care about all the things you mention. The clue is that he can focus when he wants to.

Why not have a grown up chat with him, and say that if you don't see an improvement within a month you will get him assessed for ADHD, in his own best interests. Then you can get him used to the meds over summer break, if needed.

@RainingZen

Unlikely ADD would only appear as a teen, no?

Adolescence is a big thing so don't write it off as "just" teen stuff. Some teens have a very rough time indeed during adolescence. Is he able to talk to you or his other parent or a family member about whether he recognizes he is struggling with these issues?

What have you done to incentivise him to concentrate, and is he able to make any progress at all?

It's quite likely that age 14 he really doesn't care about all the things you mention. The clue is that he can focus when he wants to.

Why not have a grown up chat with him, and say that if you don't see an improvement within a month you will get him assessed for ADHD, in his own best interests. Then you can get him used to the meds over summer break, if needed.

I think that's great advice. I've been observing but haven't spoken to him about it apart from the a) and b) question. Also he had tutoring for the 11+ - two hours sessions each week and the tutor didn't observe any problems. I think as a first step, I'll talk to him and organise a 'trial' of him trying his best to be focussed and organised and then review. The other thing is that he is ultra sociable and loves being with his friends. He's in only child and it's just him and me so maybe what looks like distraction at school is actually him getting his fill of all the company on offer.