Hey everyone.
I am not able to write out the whole situation on here as it's too painful.
I had a traumatic birth experience and it's only really now that I'm starting to realise how bad it was and how much it has effected me.
I've been blocking parts of it out of my head which I only noticed when my partner had asked on a couple of occasions 'do you remember this' and I honestly couldn't remember it at all.
I have spoken to the doctors about this and they have given me the option of a service at the hospital called birth after thoughts, I'm yet to make an appointment because I'm just scared that reliving it will make me worse.
My main problem is that I'm surrounded by at least 3 people who are close to us who are due to have their babies soon. I'm finding myself having to distance from them because it's too hard to discuss pregnancy/ childbirth at the moment after our experience and i feel so awful for feeling that way.
I honestly feel so angry and upset by my experience that I jus don't want to hear other peoples for fear that it will make me even more upset.
I feel so so awful for feeling like that which makes it worse. How do I explain to people I have birth trauma? How do I ask them politely to not share their birth experience with me when I should be there for them?? I feel like such a bad friend but I'm struggling to cope and I don't know whether I should just distance without saying anything or explain why...
