Meds refuser

[springydaff]

I have a friend who suffers terribly with her mental health. Really bad. But she refuses to take any meds - or, if she does, it's only now and then, one or two here or there.

Initially I talked about it to her, just in the course of conversation - I have long suffered with my mental health, which she knows - but the subject is STRICTLY off-limits: woe betide me if the.subject drifts anywhere near meds, she's vicious.

Can anyone explain this to me? She certainly won't! and I find it hard to understand why she would suffer so terribly yet refuse any relief.

Hello, I was giving meds for ocd anxiety and when I was first giving it I felt like it was a low almost. Like I wasn't strong enough needing meds.

I know that is not the case.
My sister refuses to take meds and I'm sure her boyfriend doesn't agree with it.

It's really annoys me. Meds don't cure you but help you think a little more calm.
I think as well people think they will be on them for the rest of there life and again this isn't true.

There is nothing you can do. If people won't take them you can't force them. As frustrating as it is

I can relate to your friend. I have been awful taking meds at times. It is easy to expect a quick fix (which never happens), so you think there is no point taking them. Sometimes they become less effective anyway, so again another reason to not bother. Also denial about MH issues, or embarrassment about taking meds for mental health.

Has she had a bad reaction?
Or been abused for taking them?

I had a severe reaction which resulted in me collapsing in a road and causing a traffic accident (someone is paralysed, another was seriously injured as a result) after I was told there would be no side effects and then blamed for the accident by mh team. The police agree but the mental health team said I did it delibrately as it was impossible for meds to cause that (actually untrue as any mh meds severely effect my neurological condition for which there are no meds or cure - mh team are dismissive of the condition and as such kept giving me meds causing worsening of my neurological condition which meant I was forced to choose).

I was also told "side effects" are not real, and then by the same dr if someone has "real" side effects then they're minor and disappear after two months. I never managed a day safely. Telling me to phone if I didn't recover consiousness when I live alone was very telling of just how serious they took the seizures they induced.

I was given meds when younger after being assaulted and blamed. I was then assaulted by my parents who see mh meds as something only the weak and pathetic rely upon, they flushed them, assaulted me and said if I was so weak to need pills I should just get over it, get married and have babies like normal kids and get out of their home.

Many years later I've viewed the medication leaflets for what I was given (having not been allowed to be given the leaflets at the time) and know it was dangerous for me to be given them. Denying someone's medical (physical) disability is a very foolish thing to do.

They've tried giving me meds since, stating that it was just silliness but it wasn't. I've also been tricked into taking meds disguised as pain relief as an inpatient which made me very unwell as well, again, I was blamed for wanting to be ill.

My notes now have in huge red letters on the front that I am a med denier. I'm not. I know people whose lives have been changed hugely by them. BUT I struggle massively with discussions about meds because of my experiences. No one in RL is aware of those struggles, nor will they be, as I carry a lot of shame. A person nearly died because of me taking meds, another is paralysed for life. I know my behaviour around meds is extremely hard for others to understand as people have had this conversation with me, but I cannot bear anyone knowing what has happened. Especially when the mental health team are so adamant it's all delibrate on my part.

I guess what I'm saying is it may not be as simple as you think, often these things are not. Perhaps just avoid the subject as hard as you may find that.

Maybe the side effects are intolerable for her. With the strong ones like anti psychotics they are often life altering not in a good way and very physically impactful eg organ damage etc but they don't cure, only sedate. It's a question of does the good outweigh the bad. For her it may not. But you can guarantee that she will have been treated poorly due to her decision. So won't really want to go over it as it will upset her.

I suppose the real questions are why you feel the need to raise this subject with her and why you continue to raise it when she's very clear she doesn't want to discuss it.

@Armadollo I know the reason people raise it with me is because they think it'll help and I'm just being stubborn not taking them. Many people have had issues and then found meds that work for them and think they're helping by raising it with me. Like I said they don't know my circumstances of how much it upsets me, but they do know I get angry about it; I try not to of course but it's not that simple. Maybe the same for @springydaff

I don't feel the need to discuss it, I don't raise the subject, neither continue to raise it (if you read my op you'll see that). Once was enough - and that was in the normal conversations about my/her MH. Her response was severe, I knew to never mention iit again. It's the elephant in the room. I came on here to ask what may be behind it - because I can't ask her.

Becca I'm so very sorry for what you have experienced. A great injustice has been done. The accident wasn't your fault, it was theirs 💐🌹❤️

True true @Becca19962014 I guess for some it's them trying to help. But there's also all the context to meds compliance - you know, for all the "there's no need to feel shame for taking meds and it's just like going to the dr for a broken leg" narrative which seems benign and accepting we all know that treatment is backed up by CTOs and sectioning and so on. Which is a lot less benign. But is invoked, even fleetingly, even as a shadow, every time some fool starts on about it.

(the wretched MH team, that is. It sounds like they're covering their tracks, the shits 😡)

@springydaff I'm sorry I didn't read the OP properly; and admit it's a subject I find difficult to discuss so Im sorry.

@Armadollo yes I know what you mean. I wasn't on a section but had extra meds added to the ones I need to take for my pain without my knowledge or consent which was bad enough, but I had a friend who was dragged by her hair along the floor to take meds, and, another who was rugby tackled into a wall and had an injection forced on her. Not something anyone ever mentions. I'd never consent to going in hospital again. I think people have rather odd ideas about mental health wards. To say the least!

Thank you for your responses lost and Xeno 🌹

Oof @Becca19962014 that's brutal. I mean it's assault. Forced treatment is really traumatising. People end up in a worse state than they were to begin with, for sure. I'm sorry to read about what happened with you. The lies and blaming and obfuscation are horrendous and I'm glad you've got out of it with a clear view of what happened.

@springydaff they didn't/don't give a shit about me. They've also this horrendous way of working whereby every patient, until they prove otherwise, must be "just borderlines" and their attitude to that label is horrendous, so bad I got trolled on MN for repeating it. My health, professional career and qualifications got utterly trashed by them because of it, and that then fed into how I was treated for my other conditions.

Right now I've no support at all. Not even of a GP because of their lies but no one believes me.

@Armadollo sort of. I've no help or support at all now, and dwp are pushing for a fraud prosecution because of discharge March 2020 which I knew nothing about until recently when I discovered they weren't closed at all and were still open, just dumped my care. I also lost my GP.

I'll never forgive myself for trusting anyone with my mental health. I'll never trust again not in RL. It was, literally, used as an excuse to abuse me.

My last admission I was assaulted by another patient - who they defended as being too ill to understand "no", locked me in my room without food or water and demanded I left because it was too distressing for me to stay, for him. The police spoke to him and again I was told it wasn't his fault and to just stay away.

@springydaff sorry for derailing your thread!!

My responses were in answer to Arrmadollo's post re I suppose the real questions are why you feel the need to raise this subject with her and why you continue to raise it when she's very clear she doesn't want to discuss it.

I don't know why you feel people are 'fools' to raise the meds question, Armadillo? Most people mention it because they care, surely. I mentioned it with my friend in the course of normal conversation between 2 people who are negotiating MH issues (I go to a MIND support group and meds are very much part of the natural conversation between us there).

Talking of MIND, Becca, they offer an advocacy service where I live (though I assume it's a national service?) (I'm also assuming you're in the UK?).

God, Becca, that's horrendous. So shocking.

Sounds like you have a particularly corrupt service in your area. My heart goes out to you.

Ah, sorry, another misunderstanding!

Mind were of no use to me as I've multiple disabilities.

Becca, ii feel so upset to read your story. I'm so sorry you went through that, I hope you can find healing somehow somewhere ❤️💐🌺🌹

Sometimes it comes down to what the meds do to you.

My MH team refused to change my meds despite them not working and me being suicidal. I took myself off of one of them against their will, because they wanted to discharge me apparently. Within two months my arthritis stopped. The antidepressants caused RA, who knew.

Over the last year, they have tried 2 different add on pills. One made me incontinent, the other suicidal. I stopped both.

Now waiting another 8 weeks for a medication review, I am reducing my main antidepressant. I have been on it for 8 years, yet I am the most depressed I have ever been. Who knows whether the pills are helping or causing this? Nobody. What I do know, is that they aren't working and I don't want to keep taking such huge doses if they don't work. They just keep me awake.

Every drug has serious side effects, especially at first and after an extended time. Unfortunately if you have MH problems nobody listens at all.

Yes, I get that. Hence my total reliance on peer support re others negotiating the same same MH path. MH services tend to lump us into moron categories re we are idiots re MH professionals have read it in a book but not experienced it so they have NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

😡😡😡😡

It's they who are the idiots.

Though they are the gatekeepers

Ime I've had to forge my own path re every course/book/seminar. It's up to me to effect my own MH management.

So many MH professionals are so thick ime.