Does this count as having suicidal thoughts?

[Yogamats]

I have so much in my life I want to change and it seems exhausting I can’t do any of it. I think of the future and think I can’t see my life as being enjoyable it would just be easier to end it. I am a bit squeamish though so try not to think of the actual method so I don’t know if that counts? Sorry if this is self indulgent.

I think the fact that you feel things would be easier if you ended it is concerning, regardless of the fact that you haven't thought of a 'method'. You are clearly depressed and need some help and support. Have you spoken to anyone about this? I would suggest a visit to your gp is needed. I just understand what you're going through I'm currently off work with anxiety and depression, and while I haven't had thoughts about ending things, starting Ona antidepressants, seeing a counsellor, and talking to people has changed my life. Please talk to someone. Always here if you need a chat x

Thank you so much for replying. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I just feel I can’t talk to anyone. I have found GPs dismissive of other physical things so I worry they won’t take me seriously. What did you say? I don’t know how to say it.

I was just honest. I said I couldn't cope at work, couldn't stop crying, that I was having panic attacks etc and they were very very understanding, suggested antidepressants and asked me if I wanted to be signed off work. I was very stressed about the conversation and was crying, but I had just reached the poutine of no return and I'm so glad I did all this as I feel it would have got much worse for me if I hadn't. I honestly feel like a different person. Good luck x

And also, there is such a massive mental health agenda these days, it's everywhere you look about taking care of your mental health and being understanding of others, GPs HAVE to be understanding - the repercussions if they weren't don't bear thinking about x