That basically. I think I need help, but I don’t know where to start.
I’m usually fine, but right now I’m crying.
I hate my life. I hate my job. Then when I’m ok, I don’t really think like that, although I’m not happy with how things have turned out. Then I think I’m ungrateful, as I have a lot and other people probably love my life. I have a home and a family, and a well paid job. But I never wanted a family, it has just happened, and my partner is a greedy, fat, untidy slob. If we didn’t have a child I’d have kicked him out by now. Then I feel bad as he’s very caring and thoughtful in other ways and my son is a lovely boy. I love him to bits, but hate being a mother, and often resent it, it’s hard to explain.
I can’t concentrate properly, I don’t sleep enough as otherwise I just can’t get things done.
I make mistakes at work and there’s just so much I need to do it’s overwhelming. It takes me ages to do stuff and then I feel harrassed when people ask me for stuff. I’ve tried talking to my supervisor but don’t think he really understands. He just said to concentrate on x & y and anything else is a bonus. My mistakes aren’t very big mistakes, usually just typo type stuff I can correct at second check, but I never used to make them and it makes me feel shit and stupid.
I think I basically just want my life back to how it was pre child when I loved on my own. I was happier then. But that will never happen now.