I just found out a good friend of mine died in March. I hadn't been in touch for a while because I had a DD two years ago and then was moving house and resettling and then pandemic. We met when I was travelling in California and I'd always hoped to go back out there once the pandemic was over because it was such a good time in my life. My ex who I'm in touch with was with me at the time and we met this deceased friend at the same time. My ex was a bit anti social at the time so I grew the friendship mostly on my own although we did hang out altogether most of the time, and when I told him he seemed unfazed. I don't have any other friends in common and I don't know how to feel better or share the memories and I can't even go out there to say goodbye, and I don't want to be in a slump for my DD. I feel awful that I didn't know that he was ill since last summer and I wasn't even able to be supportive or say goodbye. I'm in shock, I only went on his Facebook page to catch up and see how he was as I'd found myself with more mental space to reach out.