Neighbours listened to my therapy session

[noseyneighbours]

I had a therapy session today and my neighbour and his girlfriend not only listened to it but discussed it afterwards. I'm fucking mortified. It was very personal stuff about my background and relationships and other therapy sessions.

@EstherMumsnet

We share your horror OP.

This is a gentle reminder to other posters that OP needs support right now, and to please be careful to be kind in your responses.

Thank you and thank you to all for showing your support it really helped and I appreciate it.

How awful OP.

I bet they didn't hear enough to piece it all together, they probably heard snippets and thought those weren't ''boring'' but I would hazard a guess that they did not hear enough to piece together all of your business. They'd want to be bats.

@EarringsandLipstick

You're right, all I can do is move on. I've calmed down a lot now though, as there's nothing I can do about it

OP I think you're great for trying to move on, after an upsetting experience (that wasn't your fault).

You've handled it well by making a plan for the future.

Hope you're feeling a bit better 💐

Thank you! I'm so grateful to everyone who has been kind. At least I know that I can be overheard now and, as you said, have bought a head set and spoken to my therapist about it. There isn't really anywhere else I can go in the house that has more privacy.

Hope you're ok OP I know I'd hate anyone to hear my therapy sessions

@ConstanceMarkievicz

How awful OP.

I bet they didn't hear enough to piece it all together, they probably heard snippets and thought those weren't ''boring'' but I would hazard a guess that they did not hear enough to piece together all of your business. They'd want to be bats.

God I hope so because if not, they know about my abusive background, my social anxiety, my GP appointment etc such deeply personal things. Let's hope they only heard a little. Thank you.

@Shieldingending

Hope you're ok OP I know I'd hate anyone to hear my therapy sessions

Thank you for being kind, it's really helped me.

I'm sorry to hear this OP, having been through therapy myself I can only imagine how upsetting this was. Quite right that they should have moved once they twigged what they were overhearing and definitely shouldn't have discussed it like that. Sending you lots of love.

ouch, what a horrid thing to happen OP. Never mind, though. They'll soon forget what they heard - and even if they don't, you keep your head high and let your therapy do what it must. You will feel better having a headset on, so good luck.

If they ever mention anything to you, say you were reading for an audition for a radio drama on radio four, and it’s all still under wraps as they haven’t got the contract yet.
Then walk away with your head held high.
Don’t they know you’re an actor?

@PinkPetalsPale

If they ever mention anything to you, say you were reading for an audition for a radio drama on radio four, and it’s all still under wraps as they haven’t got the contract yet. Then walk away with your head held high. Don’t they know you’re an actor?

That is brilliant, I’m almost hoping they do so op can look all nonchalant

I'm sorry op.

They could've at least made some noise to alert you to their presence.

They don't know that you know that they overheard, so act like nothing happened.

The good thing about obnoxious nosey types is that they'll be sticking their beaks in someone else's business tomorrow and have forgotten all about yours. Especially if they're on social media, there will be plenty to distract them there.

They might only have caught the end of the conversation?

@CommanderBurnham

They could've at least made some noise to alert you to their presence.

They don't know that you know that they overheard, so act like nothing happened.

They could have knocked on the door and said that the conversation could be overheard and then moved away. That would have been the best thing to do. Then gone into their garden and let the OP to it.

What complete twats. Lacking in human decency. The correct thing to do when you overhear personal details which were not meant to be shared with you is to not mention them to anyone and try to forget them. Who finds anyone's "therapy" good entertainment?

I second the suggestion that you should pretend an involvement in amateur dramatics.

What a horrible thing to happen to you. Hopefully they didn't hear the whole session, just snatches so that most of your session is still confidential between you & your therapist.

So sorry OP, I totally understand your mortification I hope this doesn't put you off continuing with therapy because that's the most important thing. Totally agree with others that it reflects badly on your neighbours. Whatever was said on your call you have nothing to feel ashamed about.

It's been hard in lockdown hasn't it? I've reverted to having my therapy sessions in the car because DP is in the flat and I've felt grateful I have that space but it still feels odd. Now wondering what I'll do now it's too hot to sit in the car! 😅

@thesootherfairy

This is why therapy over zoom is a terrible idea. Therapy is supposed to take place in a safe space with privacy. Therapy over zoom is none of those things. It's worse than nothing IMO. Sorry OP. That's shit. FWIW. I've been there/am currently in same boat and now I don't want any more therapy.

I preferred mine over the phone as found it felt 'safer' and made me feel very relaxed. So it's not a 'terrible idea' for everyone.

OP I feel for you. I'd feel the same. You honestly will not cate as much in a few weeks, I promise you

Piss in the fuck it bucket and toss it out the window. They'll find somewhere else to sit lol

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I have therapy over the phone in an upstairs bedroom and carefully check each window is closed before I start precisely because I am terrified about the scenario you have just described here. So you have basically lived my therapy nightmare. From one client to another, I applaud your ability to move on and keep up with the therapy with headphones on from now on and reclaim your safe space. Fuck those fuckers, they would probably not have the balls to sit in a therapeutic space each week. Their loss. Onwards and upwards to you!

@Leafy12 Thank you and I applaud your progress as well! I did all that, checked all the windows were closed, like I always do.

I'm really feeling the repercussions though and feel so much anger towards towards them and humiliation. I keep thinking about what they know and cringing to myself. Then I go back to anger and what an invasion of my privacy it was to listen at my window in silence the whole time.

Yes it was and is an absolute nightmare. It was like these two imbeciles sitting in on a private therapy session, in the room, then gossiping about it afterwards. It really is disgusting behaviour.

Thank you again to everyone who has offered sympathy, I really appreciate it. My therapist was really shocked but I'm pissed off with her as well for not wearing headphones her end if she couldn't hear me properly instead of getting me to talk loudly. So something to discuss next week in whispers.

I am furious for you too. They obviously had some awareness of what they were listening to so the decent thing would have been to back off. But some people are arseholes sometimes. Yes definitely something to bring back into your sessions. I am so sorry your space was violated.

I’m a therapist OP and what has happened to you is one of my worst nightmares for my clients. Your neighbours have violated your boundaries when you were being vulnerable.
Look after yourself as much as you can.
I contract with my clients that if we work over zoom they need a headset and I wear one too, it just helps with confidentiality. So speaking to your therapist about her doing that too sounds like a good idea.

What's a headsheet @Bunbin12367?