Wife absconded with my kids 10 days ago - don't know myself right now

[straydog2021]

Hi,
She never came back from the school run, was informed by another family member she'd left and will be in contact via a solicitor to see my kids. Hasn't taken a thing. The whole family are blocking me.
I wish I knew what hideous crime I had committed to be treated like this, but as far as I know we were fine.
She was also my registered carer, I have bad rheumatoid arthritis which mainly effects my hands and shoulders.
I feel like an abandoned dog.
I have been so absorbed in my family that I have no friends and have no other family.
It's heart shattering not being able to even speak to my kids, and apprently there's nothing I can, oh apart from asking the courts to trace her which is £200 odd quid, that's if I can manage the form myself.
Lost!

That sounds horrendous for you, not only losing your family but also your support network. Are you able to get some emergency help in place?

I can’t imagine a situation in which a woman would flee with her DCs for anything other than serious and ongoing abuse, so if you honestly have no idea why she’s left, could there be another man? It just seems odd that you have no inkling of anything being wrong while she was cooking this up for presumably quite some time.

But if you can’t track her down yourself then you’ll need to start making preparations for your single life, make sure you’re claiming everything and anything you are entitled to. If the family member is still in contact with her then hopefully if you bide your time you will be able to arrange some contact when she’s settled elsewhere and finally work out what’s actually happening here.

There is something you can do, you can ask the courts to trace her. Why wouldn't you be able to do the form yourself? If writing is an issue you can type it up online.

I'm sorry this has happened to you, but shes not disappeared so you will be able to find her. Although her family are ignoring you they clearly know her plan and will likely know where she is

Will the children be back in school tomorrow?

Leaving with nothing and children in tow is quite extreme. She mustn't have felt she had a choice. You need to think really hard why that might have been.

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I hope it can be resolved.

I think to have left with nothing but the children must mean you wife obviously felt desparate and if her family are shielding her then her view of family life and what she has told her family is different to your view of family life.

It has to be serious for fleeing without taking a thing. Are you violent towards her or the kids? Something must be a miss.

You can ask social care to make a needs assessment if you are struggling to care for yourself and CAB will help with form filling.

@HelloDulling

Will the children be back in school tomorrow?

Have no idea, I've contacted the school telling them the situation

@MaybeCrazy2

It has to be serious for fleeing without taking a thing. Are you violent towards her or the kids? Something must be a miss.

My children are my world, there's never been any kind of violence in our family.

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

That sounds horrendous for you, not only losing your family but also your support network. Are you able to get some emergency help in place?

I can’t imagine a situation in which a woman would flee with her DCs for anything other than serious and ongoing abuse, so if you honestly have no idea why she’s left, could there be another man? It just seems odd that you have no inkling of anything being wrong while she was cooking this up for presumably quite some time.

But if you can’t track her down yourself then you’ll need to start making preparations for your single life, make sure you’re claiming everything and anything you are entitled to. If the family member is still in contact with her then hopefully if you bide your time you will be able to arrange some contact when she’s settled elsewhere and finally work out what’s actually happening here.

Pretty sure there's no one else. We spent pretty much 24/7 together

I'm really sorry this is happening to you. There are always two sides to a story and obviously we don't know any more than your post says, so can't really offer much advice. PP saying to check benefits entitlement and contact ASC is a good suggestion.

How is your wife's mental health?
Has she perhaps been struggling with being your carer and having 2 (presumably) small children?
Are there financial issues that may be stressing her out?
How is your relationship with her family?

You need to get yourself a solicitor to make an urgent application to the courts. You have joint parental responsibility if your name is in the birth certificates. You don't need to fill in any forms the solicitor will do this.
If you do not have the money to get a solicitor, DO NOT JUST BE PASSIVE.. that is almost as awful as what your wife has done. Get on the web. Not nonsense like fathers4justice .. proper information about getting the courts to trace. Vast majority of court fees (not lawyers costs) are reduced of waived depending how low your income is. The form is called 'help with fees'

Start the process with a lawyer tomorrow. Or do it yourself right now.

My neighbour did this. Very similar circumstances. Court made her return the children . She had run off with a new man.. long story short - he got 50/50.

There will be an investigation by SSs if she alleged abuse of any kind. - be prepared . Even if you are innocent .