Mental health

[Roseistrying]

Hi. This is my first post here - I am a first time buyer and myself and my partner have just moved into a house about thirty five mins from home.
We lived with my parents for three years and when We were there we saved for our deposit.
We moved in on 28th may 2021 which at the time of writing this was less than a week ago. I felt fine for about 3 days until suddenly my heart sunk and I burst into tears - I couldn’t believe that I had done this. Moved half hour from home. I was so anxious I had panic attack after panick attack and even made myself sick. I’ve been crying for three days straight I just want to go home. I feel like my blood gets hot and I want to be sick at the thought of staying here.. I am so lost as my partner loves it and I worry this will hurt him, he’s been supportive but I can see that my constant sobbing is affecting him..
Has anyone else been through this? I am in tears even thinking about staying here but now that we have a help to buy mortgage I feel so trapped.
Please can anyone help? I’m not sure what to do ... sad

Phone mind? +44-300-123-3393

They will point you in the direction of support in your local area.

But it sounds to me like you are grieving. You are sad because you have left somewhere that was good to be for you and the change is a scary one. I hate change it makes me wobble like a spinning top and I think that is probably what is happening to you.

I also felt like this OP. I think it hits harder if you are especially close to your family, half an hour seems nothing to people outside of your circumstance but I get what you mean. I was exactly the same when I moved out, it took a long time for me to even refer to our new house as 'home' rather than my parents address. It honestly is just the initial shock, it settles once you get all your things in and find your new routine. I still panic when anything goes wrong and immediately call my dad but hey what are they for right?! It is also the first step of serious life, a mortgage is a big deal and after all the build up of the buying process it does feel so final and scary but honestly it will be amazing! Congrats on your new home, enjoy making it your shared space and dont feel bad for having to make regular trips 'home' for a little while....I pop in and out all the time 4 years later!

Thank you both for your response, yes I feel very scared, I’m 24 and I feel like a little puppy in my home shaking In the corner just wanting to be back in my tiny little box room at my parents house.. I am so scared this feeling won’t leave me.. I don’t know what I’d do if I don’t settle after a few months I haven’t eaten in a couple days because the anxiety brings food back up within the hour - I really need to feel ok, I feel like a mortgage is the be all and end all and that i cannot leave this house - again I really appreciate the responses .. you have no idea how much it means to have someone tell you this is ok

I think it's something that will hopefully pass in time, have you got any rescue remedy?
No idea if it works or not but it's a way of demonstrating to yourself that you can take measures to help yourself.
Have you got a bathtub? Baths are great for just chilling for a while, crying if you need to and creating a new safe space in your new home maybe.
Or walking outside, have your partner go with you, as long as he is supportive, looking at things that spark an interest, even if it's just a rose and just a momentary distraction.

Oh, buying a house is very stressful, a massive upheaval, and add to that the shock of feeling you have left your parents home.

You might be panicking you've lost them forever. It might well feel like that inside.

It will take a while to get used to - that you are more separate now but you haven't lost them. They are still there, 30 mins up the road, and you can see them regularly.

Give yourself time to get used to it. You can't rush these things! But you will adapt with time. You can't magically be used to living in your new home in an instant.

Plus a mortgage really isn't the be all and end all, the sine qua non of life.

If you REALLY don't settle, you can make a change.

Thanks all, yes I think the mortgage is what is keeping me feeling trapped ... I keep wondering what would be the next step if I don’t settle.. I’m just not sure considering here in the Uk I have a help to buy mortgage. Just don’t know what’s going on with my brain but I am hoping it will pass - my sickness is terrible I couldn’t keep down a slice of toast last night. I just want to be back at my home

Give yourself some adjustment time. 35 minutes is nothing. I drive 50 minutes each way to my therapist every week. Do a couple of visits home and you'll realise how short a journey it really is.