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Thoughts of death and something bad happening

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GinaG678 · 01/06/2021 21:33

Hi

Wondered if anyone else could relate to this or advise me what could help.
Last year I had a late miscarriage at 21 weeks pregnant which was devastating and traumatic. I’ve since had two more miscarriages. It’s all taken such a bad toll on my mental health and I’ve particularly suffered with anxiety the past year.

I find myself thinking a lot about how fragile life is and how it can be gone in a second. I had a low risk pregnancy and the loss was completely unexpected and no cause was ever found for why it happened. It’s almost like I feel I’ve been in the position where something bad happened and now I realise it could happen again. Or something even worse.
When I hear stories of accidents or terribly sad stories of people getting sick and dying, including kids, I can almost feel as though Its happening to me. Like I think a lot about how it really is possible that I could get cancer and die. Or that something could happen my loving child.

I remember what it was like to think the way I used to. when I was pregnant and got past 12 weeks I had that feeling of contentment and belief that I was taking that baby home as we were out of the danger zone. Anytime I would think I hope the baby is ok it was such a fleeting thought and I told myself second trimester losses are sooo rare and the chance of miscarriage is tiny. And I didn’t think anymore about it. But it did happen to me even though it’s rare, so I almost equate that to feeling like something else really bad could happen.

I think a lot about how life could be ripped away from my any minute or my daughter could be taken from me. It’s scary and horrible and I don’t want to live this way. Is this normal? :(

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