Ex had a bout if depression about 12 years ago. He had medication and time off work and got back to normal quickly. 3 years ago he went into a bout of depression again. We now have children 4 and 8. We had Male factor infertility, he didnt want to pursue ivf but I did so eventually we did. I also got a life long chronic illness during this time.
We recently separated and hes moved into a rented flat. I'm buying him out the family home so he will be able to buy a house . He sees the kids as much as he wants.
I honestly thought me and the kids were the problem and he hated the noise. Hes incredibly selfish and unable to consider anyone else's feelings and I thought time on his own would help. At one point he said he was suicidal and again I asked what can I do. He is always saying he cant see kids for whatever reason and I always say ok even though I have a full time job too.
Hes on medication and has had a private counsellor for a year.
What else can I do? I'm exhausted but am used to putting his needs first as I have had to the last few years. Should I say he doesnt need to see kids at all if that's what he wants? He said his flat is not sorted to have kids so should I offer to go over and sort the flat? Originally he wanted thebkids 50/50 but I said no as I didnt think he would cope and I think kids should be in same home for school week. Now he seems to be backing off completely and not even having them for the 1 night a week we agreed.
I know now were separated I'm supposed to back off but my heart breaks to see him like this. His mum lives a long way away and is useless. He has 1 casual friend.
I honestly thought he would get better when he left.