Family problems

[julietmanchester]

I don't want to write too much about my family situation, but wanted some advice on cutting off contact with my mum, sister and brother.

Very long story but I'm the scapegoat of the family, always have been, now they're even recruiting my H to be on their team.

I have gone no contact with them during my pregnancy, well actually they did, then I didn't return calls when they wanted to pretend nothing happened and called my H to come see our child after delivery.

I again was scapegoated as 'lashing out' from all of them during tea when I told my H we needd to plan our child's party ASAP bc his bday is in less than 2 weeeks.

I was fhen yelled at by my sister to put away my phone, and not to start a row with my H, (this is typical of them to paint me as unwell or an angry person if I ask any questions or not hapoy with H).

They instead wanted to keep going on and on about every bite of the meal, while I've gotten no feedback about DC's bday coming up from H.

Should I just go no contact?

I'm writing this in mental health thread bc it's caused me mental health problems during my pregnancy and it's happening again.

Sorry you are going through this, I have been nc with my family for 4 years so didn't want to leave your post without responding.

It's hard from your post to discern if the issues are just with your family or also with your partner?

@aintitalwaystheway

Also with my partner. He is selfish to the point of being cruel, and my sister knows this. Still trying to recruit him to their 'team'. She knows what he's done. It's like when we have a small disagreement in front of my family, them knowing what he's done for years, they start in on me and start yelling at me to 'save him'.

From what you've posted, it sounds like you understand that family dynamic and that you've already tried less drastic resolutions.

Therefore, yes, I would go no contact and definitely get your husband on board with you on that 100%.

Ah, we were typing at the same time. It sounds like you might be better off without your partner as well, then. :(

I've tried to just bite my tongue when I'm told to get off my phone while everyone else is checking their phone, they also take family trips without me (that's been going on for 6 years). My mum also says things like 'your son likes your sister more than you', 'she's a better mom than you') and my sister doesn't have kids nor is she married.

It's just this time I was trying to get ideas for a bday party due to covid and all, and i was talked over for convos about the meal. Then H started saying that it's not a pressing matter, then my brother said who cares your son won't remember his bday.

THEN I WAS YELLED AT TO PUT MY PHONE AWAY. I was looking for ideas for his bday since no one else seems to care.