Think I might have Agoraphobia

[LittleRayOfSunshine911]

I’ve always had Anxiety. I’ve been on Citalopram for the past 3 years.

During lockdown we moved and I’m settled with where we live but it’s been just recently and since coming out of lockdown it’s suddenly hit me at just how much I’ve been avoiding doing things - especially if it means leaving my area by myself.

By this I mean leaving my “safe zones” I feel okay going to work which is very local. I’m okay with school runs and I’m okay with walking locally to the shops with my daughter to get a bag of shopping.

What I’m not okay with, and makes me feel sick and sends my legs to jelly just thinking about it DESPITE WANTING so badly to do it, is to be able to get on the bus and venture in to town. My daughter has been asking to go on the bus lately (she hasn’t been on a bus since she was a baby) and I would love to take her out.

I’ve also declined meeting friends for lunch due to the fear of something bad happening or loosing control and not being close to home.

It all sounds very silly considering I used to go here there and everywhere by myself. Now I feel like unless I’m going out with my partner in the safety of his car I cannot go out at all because I’ll have a panic attack.

Should I speak to the doctor and what do I say? :/

The more you avoid doing something, the harder it is.

Hi @LittleRayOfSunshine911 I'm similar myself, have you ever had any therapy? I found CBT really helpful in the past. I've got into not a great place with it at the moment but those techniques definitely helped in the past. You could talk to your GP or there are lots of self help books on it.

Is it Covid related? A lot of people have developed this sort of anxiety lately, me included.

If you're in the UK and you'd like to access therapy you should be able to self refer into your local IAPT service but if not you can speak to your GP X

Hi OP I'm diagnosed with agoraphobia with panic disorder if you want to PM me at all. I would say you need to try and break your thought patterns now before things get worse i can't go on buses, do school runs, go shopping. I have to be close to dhs car and have the keys in my pocket if i get out. If I know I have an appointment coming up i will stress about it for weeks. The adrenaline rushes and drops are exhausting. I can offer you some tips I've learned through CBT (I'm currently waiting for my phone assessment to start my third round, so I really want to practice what I preach) you're not overreacting, please do try some cbt

Yes please! I’d love some tips if you could PM me (kinda new here and not sure how to 😂)

@MinnieJackson just wanted to say how familiar that sounds. I'm really limited in what I can do at the moment and that was one of the things I used to do - get DH to give me the car keys.

I'm starting compassion focused therapy week after next. Think it's based on CBT but with a flavour of being a bit kinder to yourself 🤔

Hi @rainbowninja it's absolutely shite isn't it. It starts as making you feel safe but then becomes an obsession in itself! (What if I panic and can't remember where the cars parked? What if the batteries go? What if I lose them?)
That's great you're starting therapy! I'm waiting for my third round, I can talk the talk but I can't walk the walk lol. It's so obvious just from the car keys the ongoing theme is 'what if?!'. I really hope it goes well for you

Good luck OP! It absolutely can and does get better with a bit of help, I look it as your nervous system trying to help you but getting a little trigger happy and with a bit of help you can learn to override it and tone it down.

@MinnieJackson yes this is my third attempt at therapy too, I don't think lockdown has helped those us of suffering with agoraphobia or panic disorder. I know that CBT techniques have helped me in the past but I've got a bit depressed this time too and it makes it harder to get out of. Fingers crossed for us! 🤞🏻