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Self harm or coping mechanism?

1 reply

Cw2307 · 27/05/2021 10:58

I have anxiety disorder and take medication daily (citalopram). While this keeps my anxiety at bay most times I have slip ups and have bad panic episodes when I'm in a stressful situation that I can't handle. In these situations I find myself picking an area on my thighs to scratch at and won't stop until I have broken my skin And caused an open wound. I hate the pain I cause after it but when I'm doing It to my self it's kind of like something else to Focus on if that makes sense? Anyway it causes marks that I then have to hide. I do this by getting changed in private and not letting my other half see me anytime other than fully clothed.. Even sex is in the dark.. But last week after a bad situation I did it again but this time he caught me..iv spoke to him about it and he's begged me to stop and if im in a bad way to come clean and hell support me through it..but he then used the words "self harm" and I hate that.. I don't think what I'm doing is self harm...its a way of coping and taking my mind out of the stressful situation.. Has anyone been in a position like this that understands what mean when I say its a way of coping and not self harm? Its just those words he used has made me feel awful and as if I need to seek help when I thought I was doing fine

OP posts:
Evidencebased · 27/05/2021 11:19

Sorry to hear life is tough at the moment.
I'm going to level with you. Because you deserve honesty.

Most people who self harm are using self harm precisely as a coping mechanism. That's what self harm is all about.

You are hurting/damaging yourself, so self harm is literally what you are doing. You're not alone, and it's not the end of the world. It may in some situations be the least worse option. But it's never a good option, and you truly deserve for things to get better.

A good place to start might be, how do I reduce the stress levels that lead to this?
Can I make some changes in my life?
Sometimes that's not possible, at least for now, and we need to need to nurture ourselves through this difficult bit.
Reduce our ongoing background stress, so that we can weather the difficulties of life more easily.
How?
Different things work for different people:
The Daily Calm (on You Tube)
venting to a counsellor
going for a run
Yoga
meditation
CBT

If you try these things, you will find the one that works for you.
I wish you well.

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