Left the old (horrible) job for a nice new job but still stressed and anxious

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Hi

I posted previously about an awful, professionally compromising job which I’ve finally left and was very stressful.

Anyway I finished, left and have a new job. The team is lovely, it’s lovely. It’s overall going fine. But I was unwell yesterday (progressively) and gave the worst nursing handover of my life and whilst it will be fine it was to a charge nurse so my anxiety is through the roof. This is relatively minor and if brought up and I just said I was unwell etc would probably be fine but I’m just feeling like my stress and anxiety from my last job is ruining my new job even though it’s much better.

I don’t know how to pull myself out of this

Hi op, I don't know your previous posts but as an ex nurse, 1) ive had a variety of awful handovers and it's not been the end of the world (I'm assuming you were mainly handing over about your pts and not the whole ward?)

2. it is possible that you could still be stressed and anxious even in your new role. Best to ask for a chat with your team lead/sister etc and let them know how you are feeling.

Keep the lines of communication open, and get support, good luck xx

In my experience, the anxiety doesn't just "go", I felt keyed up and still had a full blown panic attack in my new job - even thought the stress was gone, my bodies reaction to a trigger didn't.

Fortunately, I could tell people what was going on and it was all absolutely fine, the last few years have made it much easier discussing anxiety and managers seem better informed.

It is something you can learn to understand and work within, I spent alot of time looking at grounding techniques, mindfulness, eliminating stressors - and, you can't get away from it, eating well and exercise (annoying, but it does help).

Have you looked at any courses or help with managing stress and anxiety?

Thanks everyone

I was handing over to a nurse who’d had my pt the previous night and gave a brief overview of changes.

I just told myself to a high standard and this fell short.

I think I thought removing myself from the biggest stressors - toxic colleagues, hospital etc would help and it has but not much.

Thanks

I’ve also been dealing with homesickness on/off for 4 years, but went home and was homesick for the place I’ve moved to. Now I’m homesick for home. Ugh

Can you afford to pay for any counselling re the stress / anxiety / homesickness?
I say pay, as it might take some time to get any if you self-refer through your GP, and it sounds like it could be of benefit.
Sorry to hear this, though it’s great you’ve moved jobs.

I would second the pp who suggested counselling, sounds like you could do with a debrief from the old job. On the feeling homesick for both places, that's understandable....I'm far from home, and I miss it but the last time I went back it didn't feel 100 percent right either and wanted to come back to my current home. It can perhaps be just a general feeling of anxiety manifesting itself in making you want to feel "at home" somewhere . Could you view it as feeling instead like you are at home in both places? I think once you feel more established in this new job your new ward/workplace will feel like home too.

If the charge nurse knew the pt then that does take the pressure off, as like you said it's just a recap really. High standards are great but be kind to yourself too. Xx

I had this too. There were too main effects I noticed after moving to the new (better) job:

1. While I did feel much happier I also found myself getting a lot more emotional in general - crying at silly things. Eventually I worked out that in my old job I'd just become numb to things in order to cope and was probably just having an overreaction to being able to "feel" things again. After a while I did get back on a more even plane.

2. At work itself I used to get sudden fears that everything was going to go wrong - it was actually a physical sensation I could feel going up my spine. It did go away in the end but it took a while.

When things did go wrong at work (and it will inevitably happen!) I learnt not to react immediately but to let the panic subside. As soon as I felt able to think a bit calmly I'd make a plan on a "how not to make this worse" basis. It's very easy to get caught up in "OMG, why did I let that happen." If instead you think "what are the things I could do that at least won't make this situation worse and might even make it better" it's a lot less stressful.

Really, time is your best friend here. As you get more absorbed in the new job and the old one starts to fade you will naturally feel more at ease.

Firstly it takes time, starting a new job is stressful anyway, and shedding the emotional toll of the previous job also takes time. It could be though that you would benefit from some support for your anxiety, it made the world of difference to me (but appreciate we are all different). Is it possible that in your last job the toxic team would have shouted or whatever for it? It can take a while to rediscover 'normal' behaviours, ie a handover which is not up to the high expectations you have for yourself is still fine and outside of a toxic team, not a reason to be told off or to cause issues.

Secondly, be kind to yourself. Speak to people in your team if you feel it would help, that's great they are nice and I'm sure they would want to help you settle however possible.

I was also going to suggest counselling. It took me over a year to get over past work stress in a new job.

Now when I think about it, I just think it was a mismatch and it doesnt detract from what I loved about there too, I've learned and moved on. It fades. The focus now should be on your confidence in your new role, dont be too hard on yourself.