Is this depersonalisation?

[AutumnBrooke]

I have been going through a stressful and anxious time recently, a lot of it focused on my health. I used to really enjoy going out for walks but recently I've started to have a dizzy kind of feeling when I walk outside. It's so hard to explain but it kind of feels like I'm wearing someone else's glasses, the ground looks too close and I feel like I'm not really "there", like I'm living in some kind of dream. It's really scary and has now made me scared to go outside.

Is this depersonalisation and, if so, is there anything I can do about it? I don't want to end up agoraphobic but on the other hand I only get these feelings when I'm outside, I've never had them when in the house.

I have this when I'm very anxious and you are right, it may possibly lead to a panic attack and eventually agoraphobia.

When it happens again, easier said than done so you will have to get the hang of it, but just accept it is happening and don't try to fight it. So, my thoughts would be "oh, I'm spaced out again, keep walking, what that in the bush? A bird, how pretty, keep walking, oh next door have left their bins out, keep walking...etc"

Hope that help a little bit, not the best explanation to be fair, but the more you try to physically fight it the worst it will become so try to accept it, acknowledge it and carry on.

Also, if you think the stressful period at the moment will continue for a while it may be worth seeking some help from a doctor or counsellor?

Does sound like dissociation. 3 responses to managing dissociation:

Building up grounding strategies to help you reconnect to the present time and place. That can start with literally focusing on how your feet feel on the ground to listening to birdsong or traffic noise around you.

Focus on establishing a sense of safety. Perhaps by creating a safe place in your mind that you can visit when feeling panicked to help you settle.

And strategies to bring your anxiety level back down - breathing properly is important (the breathe app might help). Some people have a small soothing or distracting object they might take out with them that they can hold (something small enough to fit into the palm of your hand or keep in a pocket can be good).

Those are the 3 key things to focus on when this happens or you're feeling anxious.

As for not allowing yourself to become too afraid to go outside - combine the above with repetition. You need to go back outside repeatedly and consistently to re-teach your brain that you are safe outside. The more you avoid it the more the fear and anxiety will be reinforced.

Exposure therapy ladders can be useful. Start with a short, easy trip outside (doorstep, end of driveway. End of street, could be your first 3 rungs on ladder, etc). Stay outside while anxiety peaks and fades - because that's what it does. Use your strategies. Come back inside after the anxiety and any dissociation has eased. You need to teach your brain that it's safe, it will pass and you will survive it, so it's important you stay out long enough for anxiety to peak then fade.

Repeat each step a few times until you feel comfortable then move up a rung on the ladder to something a bit more challenging. Repeat, get comfortable, go up a rung until you can go for walks like before.

It's important to do it gradually and repeat each step until you feel comfortable. If you just leap in with the most anxiety provoking situation without gradually building up you're more likely to make things worse. A gradual approach is proven to be one that leads to success.

If you Google CCI resources there are online modules that may help.

So, my thoughts would be "oh, I'm spaced out again, keep walking, what that in the bush? A bird, how pretty, keep walking, oh next door have left their bins out, keep walking...etc"

Yes, just this. Great example of how grounding yourself might look in practice.

Even if it happens out on a walk there would be no harm in pausing on a bench and sitting there for a few moments to notice and observe the sights and sounds around you, then maybe visiting your mental safe place and/or doing some breathing exercises before you keep walking.

But it'll be about finding the way that suits you best. Maybe some days you'd be able to keep walking and others you might want to sit for a moment.

Not fighting it is also good advice - it's not about strategies to make it stop but strategies to manage it. (And then naturally it goes on its own).

I read something once that likened fighting against panic attacks to banging your head on a wall to ease a headache. Counterproductive!

Thank you, this is all helpful and I will try to put it into practice. Is it common for this to only happen when outside? I never get this feeling when I'm indoors.

Indoors (presuming your home?) you feel safe and in control and the comfort of your sofa or bed is there if you need to retreat. When you are outside you don't really have that element of control and to top it off all of a sudden there's also all your senses being bombarded (sunlight, traffic noise, people passing by talking etc) and it can feel totally overwhelming. It's actually quite common when you have anxiety so don't feel like you are losing the plot, you really aren't.

Thank you, this all makes a lot of sense. I managed a 30min walk with DH and managed not to panic but just accept that it's just a weird feeling and not harmful. I'm determined not to give in to it and let it rule my life. Will it go eventually?!

I am trying to organise some counselling but it's taking a while to set up.

Well done! It will go eventually as your confidence increases but don't rush yourself and set yourself up to fail; it didn't come on suddenly and so it won't go suddenly either so allow yourself time to get better.

Counselling should help with the underlying anxiety and your doctor can always prescribe something to help too.

Best of luck, remember you are not alone and thousands of people are feeling the same way.

If you can get a copy of Dr Claire Weekes "self help for the nerves" you might find it useful, the patient studies are a bit old fashioned now but the advice is still sound and it helped with my recovery.

Also, I've just C&P some other advice I gave to someone else on MN a few weeks ago, just to help with the physical symptoms.

I'm not a doctor or medically trained and this is just what I find helps me btw. Also, now and again I do have a "wobble" but I barely acknowledge it anymore, it is what it is.

From the other thread:

If you find your heart racing and blood rushing during an anxiety attack then cough. I find it "resets" my heart pace. Definitely works for me and worth a try.

I know it's difficult but try to eat healthily. Good nutrition is very important for your physical and mental health. I don't mean go on a diet or anything like that but just eat an extra bit of fruit every day.

If you can, leave the house, try and get some lovely fresh air, a walk around the garden, walk the dog, whatever.

Don't try to bodily fight the anxiety or beat yourself up about feeling low. You cannot control what your nerves and hormones make your body physically do so don't feel guilty or that you are letting yourself down. Try and accept it is happening, allow it to happen and then carry on as before if you can.

Remember, usually an anxiety attack occurs sometimes 5 to 10 minutes after you have thought about something that would make you anxious. So, you can have a fleeting thought of the trigger but then 10 minutes later actually have the anxiety attack. Knowing this helped me understand that my anxiety attacks weren't coming "for no reason" and I could then go to my counsellor to deal with the true triggers.

Thank you. It's just such a long old slog. Exhausting!

Yes that is it. I get it when I need to eat or drink or even when I'm just feeling anxious.

Hi, how did you get on with this? Did you manage to control the feeling? Feel so similiar! Xxx