Still in bed at 6pm - The drugs aren't working?

[Straussful]

This is my 18 year old daughter. She got up on Friday for a morning at school (exams coming up) and was back in bed by lunchtime, other than that it was probably a week since she left the house. She is not studying, not getting any exercise. She does shower but gets back in bed after. If we have a conversation she snaps at me if I disagree with her so it tends to be a cautious and therefore limited exchange. I don't think she speaks to anyone else in the house.

She has depression. She's on 100mg Sertraline (increased from 50mg 3 months ago). I don't think it's working. She refuses to ring the gp about it. She has the odd good day and then crashes for days afterwards.

She's moving to a different city in a few weeks for a new job, she's excited about this and thinks that her life is on hold til then. I am worried. I cannot see how she can go from this level of inertia to working 5 days a week and living alone, feeding herself and generally coping. I will not be able to rescue her if it doesn't work out.

I am so worried and don't know where to turn for advice. I want to hear she will be fine, that this geographical cure will work but feel I am probably unrealistic.

I'd love to hear from anyone who has had or has experience of depression as to what I can do to help her at this stage.

Didn’t want to read and run. No experience of depression but do have teen DC and know the worry they cause. I would take some comfort from the fact that she got up for important school event and that she is feeling excited about her future. Hopefully someone else will be along soon. Hope it all works out.

Sorry you're going through this it's so hard to watch. She might need to increase dose again.
As an aside I recommend you join a private FB group called Parenting Mental Health. It has been a lifeline for us; lots of parents (too many) supporting each other.

Thank you Krook. It is a lonely (sometimes terrifying) place being the parent of a child with depression so I will look that up.

dane I hope the change of environment will make a difference. She will be in another country and Covid restrictions mean travel between us will be difficult. Both yours and Benji's posts about showing some interest were a comfort last night.

If she is excited about the job then I would go with that enthusiasm. Don’t talk about her depression, talk about the exciting adventures she will have.
She can come home if the job is too much for her, she knows that. But try to be positive, it could really help. Just tell her she can come home anytime if she needs to.. and tell her if it’s tough to speak to her GP as well. She might actually be ok on her own two feet

You sound a lovely mum by the way

Are you sure that the moving away is not the reason for the depression? Could she putting on a front?

I'm sorry that must be very difficult.

I think a new city to explore, new job, new friends might be just what she needs. What sort of job is it? Something like an office where she'll meet people or an au pair type thing where she'll need to do other things to meet people?

Just reassure her properly (if it's the case) that she'll always have a home with you but you want her to go and have adventures & have fun!

Then (if she's happy to) look up places in her new city/country that look interesting/nice. Parks/mountains/whatever to explore etc etc.

I'm excited for her! 🤣 where is she going?

TBH when I’m depressed the thought of doing anything fills me with anxiety/dread. The fact your daughter has managed to apply for a job, attend an interview (even if remotely), string a sentence together and impress someone, and then be excited about starting a new job, suggests that she’s actually doing quite well. Maybe there’s a bit of grumpy teenager in there? It’s been a hard 18 months. Maybe this move will be the making of her. If not, at least she’s giving it a go!