A few days ago I met up with an ex. We were never really together “properly “ due to our circumstances but he was really the first person I really loved and it took me a long time to get over him. We lost touch for years and then started messaging about 3 years ago. Messages were quite sporadic and he was with someone else. Last year he and his girlfriend split up and the messages became more frequent but nothing flirty or any suggestions of us getting together.
Last week we met up for a drink, it went well despite nerves. But I feel so low since. He made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship, and doesn’t know what the future holds in terms of work or where he’ll live. I feel so bad, like it’s brought back all those old feelings. Maybe secretly I wanted him to suggest we started seeing each other, I’m just not sure. Maybe it’s feelings of rejection coming back. I think I just need to completely cut contact or certainly not initiate it again. I can’t quite believe how sad and depressed it’s made me feel.