Today my dd bit me

[tarapinn]

This morning, after a night out which involved lots of alcohol, I had to go and pick my daughter and her friend up as they had no way of getting home. They had gone for a meal out, but then gone to someone's house and stayed the night.
Dd(17) did not want to be picked up. At all. I had 40 mins of verbal abuse and she also got in the car and hit me round the face and bit my hand. It drew blood.
It was like she was having some kind of psychotic episode. She was totally out of control and people were coming out of their houses and threatening to call the police before I arrived.
She has seen (zoom) a psychiatrist once and we have been given the questionnaires for an ADHD assessment. Follow up is not until the end of June.
I have looked at BPD and she herself thought she might have that at Xmas time last year but since then she's going down the adhd route. But now I don't know. This reaction was so extreme. At one point I thought she was going to run out in front of the cars.
She hates who she is. Feels she is just not good at anything. Has one friend. Feels empty and seems to hate everyone and the world.
I don't know what I want from this. I am just at a loss and feeling so, so fragile about what happened this morning.
Does anyone have any kind words ...

@tarapinn
Trauma she experienced in the womb !!!!
You need to call the crisis as soon as you are able shes a danger to herself and others

Inthesameboat

@tarapinn

I think she would be willing to take anything to be honest but I didn't think bpd was treatable with medication. The psychiatrist has suggested DBT for her so hopefully will be able to access that in the not too distant future

Meds can help some people with BPD. Not cure it, but be part of the jigsaw pieces for managing it. You're right though, ultimately if she's got a personality disorder she needs extensive therapy.

I wonder if she's looking for a diagnosis so she can use it as an excuse? "I have 'X' and that's why I did it" sort of thing. If she refused to engage with MH services I'd lose some sympathy TBH.

Having a neurodevelopmental disorder doesn't preclude someone from having a separate MH problem either.

Thanks Amber

She didn't engage with camhs aged 14 because she just didn't know where to start. She has had some private therapy but wasn't truthful because she has so many issues she was just so overwhelmed.

It was her who sought a psychiatric assessment with a view to a diagnosis. Then she can go in to therapy knowing what's 'wrong' - like an umbrella that covers her whole self iyswim.

She is definitely willing to engage with the psychiatrist. She drew a tree a couple of weeks ago on A3 paper. The trunk had 'my problems' written on it. Then there were so, so many branches that came from the trunk, each labelled with a 'problem'. It covered the whole page. Filled it up. Tbh it must be so difficult to be her

Sounds hard.

Yes I see why she wants a diagnosis now. It will stop the therapist trying to work out what's wrong with her if it's already been done. Diagnosis is good anyway it means she can get reasonable adjustments at work if necessary and for access to some things diagnosis is necessary. It can also help a person make sense of themselves. There's negatives around diagnosis too but diagnosis is not a bad thing for everyone.

Sounds as if CAMHS failed her last time, they should be more proactive. There's too much of expecting the service user to tell them what they need. It's too much for an ill person to be able to work that out if they've got complicated problems.

Hopefully the DBT helps her when her turn for it comes up.

But don't dismiss meds too. Even if they're just temporary to get her through a particularly difficult period. It's not only antidepressants either, there's various things for anxiety which aren't antidepressants and antipsychotic/anticonvulsant drugs
which are sometimes used as mood stabilizers. At the moment it sounds like something that's only partially effective or only temporarily effective might still be of help. She can discuss with GP or psychiatrist whether meds might help her until therapy is available, or help her get more out of therapy if she can take it in better and not be so overwhelmed perhaps.

The tree thing sounds like a start on working through things.

I wish you and DD luck with it all.

My SN son got violent with me (15 and in middle of puberty) we took him to the ER and it was documented and he was prescribed medication then to his pediatrician and referred to psychiatrist. He then didn't sleep for two weeks-diagnosed with a mood disorder. Long story short he needed inpatient hospitalization to stabilize him and figure out which medication worked for him. It was gut wrenching and damn hard but he's been so.much.better. It isn't easy but there is hope. Best of luck

I'm really sorry about your daughter, OP.
As for medication, when I had GAD I was put on a mood stabilizer due to extreme mood swings (fine to panic attack in seconds). I remember reading about it (Risperidone) and it was used to treat bipolar disorder, as well as violent urges. Some American prisioners took it, IIRC.

So it might be worth a shot - and if your daughter refuses to take pills during her psychotic crises, they often exist in injectable forms once every couple of months.