Can anyone help - have I got PND????

[PicklesMa]

I'm new to this but have been reading threads for some time now. I just really would like to hear from anyone who might be able to help/offer some advice.

I've got a DS (3) and a DD (1) plus a step-son (11) who lives with us. Step-son came to live with us five weeks after DD was born - traumatic period ensued with step-son not seeing much of his mother. My relationship with my step-son is OK - he is no trouble but I always find myself comparing how my husband treats my other children compared to him.

Anyway, when I look back over the last year and a bit I have just felt so unhappy. I go from periods where I feel I can just about keep a lid on it to times (such as now) where everything just is too much - I feel I am here just for everybody else's benefit. I'm so nasty to my husband for really nothing. I just want to run away from everything and find "me" again (how selfish do I sound??) - At the moment I seem to be crying all the time and I'm really short with DS who, at three, is at a really challenging stage at the moment where everything is either "Why??or "No" or just humilatating me in any which way he can - I find this all really hard to cope with.

I think I've only just reached a point in my head where I'm looking back over the last year and thinking this isn't just a series of unconnected periods of feeling crap anymore but that I might actually be suffering from depression of some sort - this realisation hit me yesterday and today I plucked up the courage to call the doctors and make an appointment for next Wednesday - not sure what I want them to tell me??? In one way, if they say it's depression it sort of gives how I'm feeling a name but where do I go from there??? Or is this just "normal" motherhood - I certainly didn't feel like this when DS was born but step-son didn't live with us then- I love my DD to bits and didn't resent her arrival in ayway when she was born but I feel step-son's arrival, so close after her birth is linked to how I'm feeling??

Thank you for reading if you've managed to stay with me through the above rant and spout - I suppose I was just wanting to hear whether it is possible to be diagnosed with PND 15 months after birth (it just seems that this is something you get just after birth isn't it??) and anybody's thoughts on anything I've posted would be greatly appreciated.

XXX.

sorry i dont know but am bumping

Amytheearwaxbanisher - ??? you've lost me there

i put a message on your thread to keep it on the last 15 minutes list so someone might see it and help you its called bumping,i cant really help as i dont know much about pnd but didnt want you to go unanswered

oh if the name baffled you it was thought up by another mner

I see - excuse the ignorance - thanks

Picklesma - i have just posted a similar thread. My DD1 is 16 months and I have just realised that I am possibly suffering PND.

From what you have described it sounds like the arrival of your Dss must have been a very difficult thing to take on as well as the birth of your DD. I think that it is a good thing that you have booked a dr's appt next week - to talk to someone and perhaps get ad's has got to be a postive step.

I have 3 dc's and have found it a busy and difficult time since DD1 was born - I think that I will get a Drs appt on monday - make a positive step towards feeling better as you have done

hope this helps x

Teh name does conjure up a few images of giant cotton wool buds!!

thats me alright!

Josben- weird, I just read your message too - seems like we're in sort of similar places - think you should definately make DR's appt - I did't want to but by actually doing it makes me feel that I've finally admitted that there's a problem.

When you become a mum you just think that everything is going to fall into place but life has a nasty habit of getting in the way - I do think DSS arrival is significant, it was something my DH always wanted, for many years DSS lived with his mum, and I never really believed he would ever come and live with us so when it did actaully happened I think it knocked me for six a bit.

Anyway, please make your DRs appt - we can compare notes next week!

Yes, its a very hard thing to admit - I will make a Drs appt monday - speak with you soon!

I am so in the same place as you. It's nice to know I am not a lone freak which is what I have been feeling for the last 15months since my first was born. I have approached docs and health visitors in a round about way regarding my feelings but they have all ignored my cries for help. My relationship with him in doors is in ruins and feels very much like it's on it's last legs. We havn't had sex since giving birth (my decision not his) as I just can't bring myself to go there. When I told told the docs this they said 'poor him'!!!! Don't know what to do or where to go now. Guess I'm gonna have to spell it out to them but fear it being on my medical records as am sure it will come back to haunt me in one way or another. Interested to see how you get through your docs appointment. Good Luck, my thoughts are with you.