Obsessing over saying the wrong thing

[PompomDahlia]

Does anyone have any suggestions for how to stop obsessing over something small? I was in a meeting earlier and shared something personal - which was in the context of the meeting - but I instantly regretted it and felt so stupid afterwards. I can't stop beating myself up about it and wishing I had kept quiet.

I'm on sertraline for anxiety and depression (always had it low level, then it increased during a bad period of family illness and work stress a few years back), and I see a counsellor. I know rationally it was a small 1 minute comment, most people won't remember or care... but I feel so uncomfortable about it. I was bullied at school and lost all my confidence, so I worry what people think of me.

It's not the first time I've obsessed so much - sometimes I'll think about a throwaway comment I made or something I've done wrong and I just want to hit myself for being so stupid and getting things wrong

What did you say?

Obviously not word for word but the subject?

I used to be like this for most of my life but maybe I'm older and more cynical now but I don't care anymore. Also got diagnosed ASD at age 42 and the weight lifted off me. Not saying this is your case btw but that I've been in that boat. In truth, the others in that meeting won't care or will have forgotten it already, you know?

In diversity training and I shared an incident of being teased at school, so it was relevant to the meeting. But because there were only a couple of other non-white people there, not many people were speaking when the manager asked for comments. I know most people won't think twice about it but I feel like I shared something really personal and put myself out there too much. It's really silly because it's mostly a friendly company, and lots of people were sharing much more personal stuff last week for mental health awareness about their conditions

Thanks @TiddyTidTwo. Interesting about ASD as I've often suspected I might have that - I've always found it hard to read social interactions, been shy, struggled with anxiety, disorganised, short attention span but then spending too much time worrying about silly random things.

I know people will have gone on to other meetings, picked up kids from school, had dinner etc and not thought twice.

Straight after I was really shaky. I've gone out for a run, watched good tv and cooked a nice dinner but still feel a bit rubbish about it.

Also autistic here and i overthink things all the time x

God I do this all the time. I recall things I said years ago and cringe over them.
I recently heard someone say if you are worried about or overthink something you did or said, ask yourself- will you worry about this thing in 10 years time or when you are an old lady? Will you remember it? No? Well don't worry about it now. Good advice I think.

I am exactly the same @Pompom, things play on my mind constantly, total over thinker and struggle to let things go. I can also agonise over sending messages or emails because I worry about how what I say will be received and tend to try and cover all bases by including detail someone may or may not want/need. Not sure if that is in response to my own need for full information in order to not be left feeling like I need further info after reading something. I drive my husband crazy. I see most things as more complicated or detailed than they may appear and have wondered more recently if that and my total lack of ability to control my emotions is pointing towards being ND in some way.

Try doing this

This is an explanation of how it works

Thank you @JaneJeffer I will give that a try on my lunch break. Got into work to see a couple of supportive messages from colleagues which is lovely but I also just want to forget things!

I’m not sure if this would be helpful to reframe the incident but in that scenario I expect the group and the facilitator would feel really grateful to you for contributing your personal experiences and illustrating why the issue is important, and keeping the session moving. xxx