Any tips.

[toomanyjobsin1day]

Does anyone have any tips on how to feel better about yourself when really not taking care of yourself- because of long standing depression? It’s a circle I can’t seem to get out of right now. I look awful, feel awful which makes my depression even worse. I’m
overweight, my hair is such a mess I have not been to the hairdresser since last September. My nails and skin are in a bad way. How can I get out of this? I know my
Mental health would improve if I could just find the motivation to look after myself.

This feels a bit like me at the minute OP

My advice would be to accept where you are without judgement and to follow the same advice you would give to someone you really care about.

Just do one little thing to make yourself feel good. Stop looking at the whole complex picture. Just start with a single simple thing; drink a large glass of water, floss your teeth, shave your legs, change your undies or your bed clothes. Think easy micro wins. Small things a step at a time.

I know it sounds cliché but I'm in the same situation and trying to focus on the positives.

I write down 1 thing each day in a notebook that was good about today - some days it's that I've flossed my teeth, on better days it's that I had a laugh with someone or even just met up with a friend for a walk.

Try to do something little for yourself each day and keep at it until it becomes a habit.

Getting motivation back is a little like pushing a car when it's out of petrol. It takes so much effort at the beginning to get the car moving, but it gradually builds up momentum and gets easier to push. As someone else said, start with small, realistic and achievable goals. Always stick to the plan rather then the feelings. Depression will keep telling you not to do things, but if you stick to the plan, you will have achieved something and this can gradually improve your mood. Be kind to yourself. Use positive language about yourself, and tell yourself when you have done a good job. Us women are not great at praising ourselves but it's so important. There are lots of self help activities online, the CCI website has some good CBT resources / workbooks, talk to friends or your GP. You may be able to refer yourself to the local IAPT service for some support. If you Google that, it should tell you who your local service is. Good luck and well done for asking for help. It's the first step in your recovery.

This is my go to when things are rough.

Here is a direct link in case that's difficult to read

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=depts.washington.edu/fammed/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Katers-selfcare_printable.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwivmMyp-9HwAhUItRQKHT3fBEAQFjAAegQICBAC&usg=AOvVaw1E3Q32XZD7hoHbFRlFn0Oq" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=depts.washington.edu/fammed/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Katers-selfcare_printable.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwivmMyp-9HwAhUItRQKHT3fBEAQFjAAegQICBAC&usg=AOvVaw1E3Q32XZD7hoHbFRlFn0Oq

@NotanotherboxofFrogs that’s really good thank you!

Thanks for all the replies. I’ve let things get so bad it’s just overwhelming each day when I wake up, as soon as I go I the bathroom and catch sight of myself in the mirror I feel a wave of self loathing. I’ll definitely try the micro steps I’ll aim for one little thing each day.

I keep crying a lot recently and I cried in front of my 16 yr old son last night. He asked my if we had at Soleros and I just sat weeping, I never do that and now I feel guilty for letting him see me upset.

I have had CBT and counseling in the past and I have been on various antidepressants for years.

I’m so tired and it seems like such a mountain to climb.

@Kubby123

Getting motivation back is a little like pushing a car when it's out of petrol. It takes so much effort at the beginning to get the car moving, but it gradually builds up momentum and gets easier to push. As someone else said, start with small, realistic and achievable goals. Always stick to the plan rather then the feelings. Depression will keep telling you not to do things, but if you stick to the plan, you will have achieved something and this can gradually improve your mood. Be kind to yourself. Use positive language about yourself, and tell yourself when you have done a good job. Us women are not great at praising ourselves but it's so important. There are lots of self help activities online, the CCI website has some good CBT resources / workbooks, talk to friends or your GP. You may be able to refer yourself to the local IAPT service for some support. If you Google that, it should tell you who your local service is. Good luck and well done for asking for help. It's the first step in your recovery.

@Kubby123 I love this car analogy, that’s a great way to think about it- that it won’t always be so hard to get going, once you go