I dont know what has happened me *trigger*

[NoMoreBananas]

My mental health is just gone. Ideal with many physical ailments every day and I'm on over 50 medications a day but the past few weeks I feel like everyone and everything is against me. I am the most useless person to ever walk the earth I cant even muster the strength to do housework. I cant stop crying and spend all day on the sofa crying my eyes out. Why am I such a useless piece of **it. I used to have my life together. Great job etc now I do nothing due to be disabled and my mental health. If I wasnt scared of dying, i would have ended it a long time ago. I need help and dont know what to do.

Sorry to hear you are struggling. I too am struggling but with awful anxiety which is completely taking over my life. My house is a complete mess as I cannot focus my mind or muster up any motivation to do any housework and I too often spend my days doing nothing on the sofa. I am on meds for anxiety but don't feel any benefit from them. I feel useless and pathetic that I cannot cope with life like other people can, I hate life and find it such an endurance test. I am not suicidal but I often have times when I think il be glad when I'm elderly and nearing the end of my life so It'll soon be all over. 10 years ago I was such a different person so laid back and enjoying life I'd love to get that version of me back. Sorry to hear you are struggling with physical disabilities too are you getting and support from family or carers? have you spoke to your doctor about how you feel?

I'm in a similar position and have looked for escape in what becomes addiction, alcohol and gambling online. I've been trying to keep the depression and anxiety and bay but its eventually caught up with me again and I've completely crashed, cant sleep or remotely function.
I'm at fault with things myself but I know in your positions you really shouldn't feel shit about yourself, you're likely very empathetic which is why you're feeling things so deeply, it's often the nicest people that suffer with bad mental health xxx

I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I’ve been through hell and back with my mental health and can only tell you that even the longest, darkest nights can and will end one day. Please, please seek help. It’s taken me many years to get here but I’m now okay and much more aware of when it’s time to seek help/slow down. You can make it through this but don’t go through it all alone. 💗

That's a lovely response @vallmo47 I'm so glad things are working out a lot better for you ❤ xxx

Thankyou all for your lovely responses I'm so sorry to hear you are going through rough times too. I wish there was something I could do to help you all. I hate hearing of others suffering and even though I'm going through hell, if I'm honest I would rather it was me than other people. I really dont know what I'm going to do. Its such a complicated situation and it would take hours for me to explain it all. Awh I dont even know if I'm making any sense. Sorry for starting a thread, it was stupid of me.

Not stupid to reach out at all and there is zero judgment here. Most people have been through it to some degree, it’s only now people are finally beginning to open up.
If it helps you to know I’ve been through suicidal thoughts and OCD tendencies as a teen and a severe case of psychosis and anxiety/deep depression as an adult. I also have a brother with a mental health disorder (CP) and schizophrenia. I’ve heard voices of dead people and been best friends with God. There’s nothing you could possibly say that would shock me. Please talk to us? And anyone else who wants to. We can support each other.

Just to add - remember to be selfish sometimes. Do what’s right for you because at the end of the day, that’s what matters. Meaning, don’t feel pressure to reply, to share, to do anything. Anything that adds to your “to do” list in a negative way - get rid. Answer when in the mood or not at all. I will keep my eyes peeled and listen anytime it suits. It’s truly not stupid to reach out - at the very most you will discover that you’re far from alone and that’s not a bad thing. I don’t wish ill on anyone obviously but it’s truly nice to feel that someone out there understands and has come out the other side.

@NoMoreBananas you're making perfect sense! These matters are always very complicated with different layers to them.
I'm really so sorry you're feeling this way, and it's not stupid in anyway to want to start a thread!
I'm like you, you know theres no specific answers and its complicated to explain, also we all have the fear of judgement even though I can safely say I dont judge anyone, people are messy and complicated.
Just know you're not alone and reach out anytime you want, I know it's hard but try to go easy on yourself xxx

@Vallmo47 that's very good advice to be selfish, which i know most of us empathetic people struggle with. I'm also wanting/needing to avoid certain things for my mental state but beat myself up about simply not replying/doing something xxx

@Magic1231I know exactly what you mean. We definitely don’t need another reason to dislike ourselves. There’s too much of that going around already. I always check on everyone else and lately found myself going through my messages - no one even noticed when I stopped or returned the favour. Really makes me wonder ... they put themselves first and maybe so should I.

@Vallmo47 that's it, I've always found I'm the one to keep messaging back, the one to never wrap a phonecall up ect, but the majority have no problem with it xxx

I’m exactly the same but took a step back to see what happened and was really sad to see just one person who consistently kept trying. But that’s what I mean about being more selfish - you have enough to deal with without adding other people’s problems to your list. Be selfish for once. 💗 Make your list as short as possible and do things you enjoy, however small or silly it seems.