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How do you know the difference between pregnancy hormones and depression creeping back in?

7 replies

turtle23 · 16/11/2007 14:31

I'm 22 weeks and have recurrent depression. Came off citalopram the second I got my BFP (probably unwisely didn't come off slowly.) I haven't been too bad until the last few weeks, now I am not sleeping well (if at all some nights), but am looking after myself as far as eating, etc. I am constanly on the verge of tears. Last Friday I couldn't cope with DH being so unhelpful around the house and a little argument ended with me smacking him round the head, throwing his phone against the wall and going to bed for 24 hours. I do have thoughts of ending this much wanted pregnancy, of hurting myself though I know I don't really want to...how much of this is just bump-led sleep deprivation and hormones and how much is the dreaded D? Any input appreciated.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 16/11/2007 14:33

I have long term depression and it has always been worse when I was pregnant so take comfort that it is your hormones making you feel worse IYSWIM, sorry got to rush off.

Lulumama · 16/11/2007 14:38

hormones or depression, this is not a good , healthy way to be

coming off ADs without a proper plan can be a very bad thing

lack of sleep does not help

smakcing your DH round the head and throwing his phone are not normal reactions to things

see your GP, get some help re the way you feel..

there are ADs safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding

onepieceoflollipop · 16/11/2007 14:46

Lulumama is right (tbh never seen a post from her that isn't)
Just to add that if this has been going on for a few weeks then I think it may well be early signs of the depression coming back. (I am a CPN btw). We generally say to people that if it persists beyond a week or two and is getting worse then you definitely need to seek help. Obviously you know the signs and symptoms well from having been here before. Please don't leave it and hope that it may just get better.
Hope you soon feel better.

turtle23 · 16/11/2007 15:18

With the ADs I did counselling, left after 5 sessions as they agreed with me that I needed some structural changes rather than an ear. Was referred for CBT, and then told I wasn't "mentally ill enough" for the NHS to pay. Have been back to the dr who just ad "Well, we can try again to get you in for CBT but I wouldn't hold out much hope. Why don't you just go back on citlopram?" I do not want to take ads if I can avoid it while pregnant. Feeling a bit stuck. I agree that smacking DH was uncalled for and wrong. I do, however, feel very alone as he flat out refuses to help. I am working 47 hours a week, doing all the housework, and being told that i am not doing enough. Feel a bit like I'm cracking.

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onepieceoflollipop · 16/11/2007 16:08

Services vary widely in different areas, as do GPs and their attitudes/helpfulness.
Some possible options to consider:

see a different GP who may (or may not) be more helpful

Ask to be referred to see a Psychiatrist (for a one off appointment) to discuss medication options and/or other strategies. He/she will obviously be more knowledgable than the GP re ADs during pregnancy.

For example where I work we have a Crisis Team who see people generally for a few sessions and we can then refer on to other services (such as for CBT) if this is needed at a later stage.

You should be able to self-refer to a Crisis Team but policies vary in different areas.

There may be a specialist peri-natal service that sees women during and after pregnancy.

Sorry that this may not be of use to you if none or few of these services exist in your area.

It sounds like as well as the possible signs of depression you are feeling very frustrated and angry towards dh. Talking to someone about all of this (such as someone in a Crisis Team) may help to unravel the priorities i.e. what you would like to change first and practical ways to address these issues.

Obviously I don't know you or your history and it's difficult to offer support in a few lines without making it sound like "Oh Turtle just to x, y, and z and it will all be ok" as it is not as simple as this. Also it's hard for you to convey in a few lines how you feel exactly.

Lulumama · 16/11/2007 16:33

thank you lollipop

turtle.. does your DH know quite how desperate and on the edge you feel? if not, he is going to put your actions down to pregnancy hormones... either way, you need more support, and more understanding, you cannot keep giving and pushing yourself and feel like you are getting nothing back

is it possible for you to get signed off for a little while, get some rest, catch up on things and recuperate, and possibly get back on ADS and wait for them to kick in?

why is he refusing to help? if you both work, you both should share the household tasks, and if the budget allows, get a cleaner

turtle23 · 16/11/2007 16:39

I have sat him down three times in the last few weeks and told him how I am feeling. He sort of nods and agrees thenjust says "well, you're the only one that can do anything about it.." I am trying, have seen GP and am going back next week. As for why he wont help..he sees it as my job to do these things. I have agreed that once I give up work (4 weeks left) that I will do everything, but it is just too much right now. Averaging 3 hours sleep a night.
I guess I should just hold on til I finish work, but it seems like a very long time in the future.
Thanks everyone for listening.

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