Frustrated at failing so often

[CrackedActor]

I am in a very anxious place and have been for about 10 years.
I feel I have massively failed my daughter who turns 18 in July. We are a single income family and I just have not been able to give her the things I had hoped to. We have not been on a family holiday since 2007, I cannot support her with driving lessons and I'm a tad worried about the cost of uni (she goes in October.)
I myself have been trying for several years to either change my job (I work in a low paid industry but in a Managerial position.) I never had any problem getting s job before we moved to the North of England but since we moved, 16 years ago, I've had bouts of unemployment and very low paid jobs and at one point around my 54th Birthday I was spending more on petrol and car maintenance that made it inefficient and expensive for me to work one of my jobs. I rarely see my friends - yearly at most - as most live in the South and as we approach retirement, some are living abroad. I have no friends locally (owing to the fact we never go out as I'm often not home from work until 7 or 8pm and we have little money for that kind of thing but did make a huge effort for a birthday in Sept and went out for a meal.) I have accrued an overdraft, something I never had until around 2013, I am struggling to pay bills and I'm just not getting those job offers at all ,(143 jobs applied for, 7 interviews, no offers since 2017.) I've recently seen my GP because I had tooth pain (no dentist taking on NHS at present) and she felt I had 'mild anxiety and possibly an eating disorder (I've never been big but a combination of things have lead to me losing a lot of weight.) My friends are lovely, one woman sent me a sweater from Cos as she said she had 'accidentally' ordered 2. I wish I could reciprocate this kindness and generosity. I feel I've been stuck for many, many years, the loneliness is unbearable and I'm worried my foolish life choices are impacting on my daughter.

The first thing that struck me was that your DD is going to uni. Not the mark of a child that has been "failed"! I think maybe you are being harsh to yourself ...

Many people have overdrafts - it is not a mark of shame.

You are right there! She's off to the same university as me too - a very good one. I don't feel ashamed about the overdraft but I do feel ashamed that as soon as my salary goes in, I'm only around £200 out of the overdraft. I never imagined I'd be living from month to month. Maybe I'm trying too hard to 'get out of it all'.
I sometimes look at what my friends have achieved and wonder what went awry for me? It's like I came from another planet sometimes. Although I've learned some good financial skills - Depop and eBay have better clothes than Zara and I cook from scratch which is not only cheaper but healthier.

I think this is about your perspective OP. The reason I write that is because I read about your life with envy. You live independently with your daughter, she is about to go off to uni, things are tight but you keep going. You sound like you are coping but I hear that you feel anxious. What do you think you need? Can you drop the comparison with friends? That sounds unhelpful.

I live with my partner of 25 years too but he is currently unemployed and has only had bits and pieces of work since 2010 (he has autism which has become a bigger issue over the past 5 or 6 years. ) I think my perspective is skewed and this is partly to do with not having friends or close family members to discuss my anxiety with. I thin

....I think loneliness has a lot to do with my perspective.