I feel like I’m drowning

[Amandasummers]

I’m not particularly “unhappy” right now, I’ve been through some bad times, and right now, I’m ok....but I feel mentally drained and it’s frightening me. I can’t switch off. I’m worried about EVERYTHING. None of my fears are based on anything factual although some aren’t unfeesable iyswim?

I’m scared I’m going to die.
I’m overdue a smear, it’s on Friday, I don’t feel right, I feel that there will be a number of issues raised, but in my head, I’ve already decided it’s something terrible and I’m going to die.
I smoke, I’ve decided I need to quit because I’m terrified of already given myself lung/mouth cancer. I’m worried it’s too late and it will be an alanis morrisette moment and I’ll get help, quit, then die.
I’m terrified I’ve made so many mistakes I’m going to leave my kids without a mum.
I keep having scary intrusive thoughts about my children getting hurt.
Honestly, the list goes on.

I’m just struggling so much with all these thoughts in my head all day every day 😔

Hi Amanda. I’m so sorry I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. The feelings around death intensity the later it gets, until nighttime when I keep myself awake as I’m scared I will die in my sleep.

I called my GP and they said I can self refer for CBT. Perhaps that is something you can make an appointment for? I know it’s not rational but that doesn’t help when you’re in the moment.

I hope someone here can give you some good advice.

Thank you for replying. I think I may to speak to the doctors.

I just feel like, there’s just SO much. All at once. My relationship is difficult. I’m trying to sort out debts. I worry about money ALL the time. I feel like I’m failing as a parent because my youngest (2.5) isn’t potty trained, doesn’t speak and doesn’t eat and I jsut wish I could deal with one thing at a time but it’s jsut all there. It’s too much.