Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Name changed as very outing sister with bpd

7 replies

someoneholdmyhand · 12/05/2021 19:29

Hi my sister has bpd and a history of lying she's gotten me in loads of trouble and my mum by lying. She also has a tendency to attention seek and either does drastic things to gain attention or lies. Well she got pregnant by a 67yo when she was only 17 then went out with her 47yo support worker.

Social services took her into mum and baby foster care. She's been out a month and Monday me and my mum had a spa day just the two of us now when me and my mum are together my sister tends to act out but having had 18 months of therapy and the fact that we not allowed to see her owing to lies she's told about us we went for the spa together for my mums birthday Monday.

Well today she has accused her Carers of both having sex with her (married couple been doing this for 30 years plus) and that she's pregnant with his baby and is having a abortion. She told her therapist this and now social services are going to take baby.

There's nothing I can do and a part of me wonders if after 18months of dbt therapy that my mum paid for she can still do this then maybe best thing for baby is adoption.

I can't adopt baby as I'm schizophrenic and I have 3 dc with SN zone with severe adhd one with severe asd and one with epilepsy. My mum who bore the brunt of the false allegations (for example that's she a alcoholic when she can't even drink two drinks without being drunk) is not allowed to adopt owing to allegations made no one else available too.

So I'm sat here and all I can do is wait for the phone call that my niece has been taken.

If the allegations are real then my sister is still vulnerable to sexual exploitation and she loses baby if she's lying then all her lies over the years are coming out and she loses baby she cannot win.

Have no one else to talk to and there's absolutely nothing I can do I can't speak to my mum because she's on the phone to my sister trying to keep her calm understandably so writing it down here don't think anyone can help just needed to get it out somewhere.

OP posts:
tenlittlecygnets · 13/05/2021 21:55

Gosh, that all sounds so hard. BPD is really hard to deal with.

Sending you a handhold. All you can do is help your sister but you can't live her life for her, and you need to look after yourself and your dc too.

Giantrooster · 13/05/2021 22:25

I'm sorry, you have a lot on your plate. As you say, you can't do anything in relation to your sister, hopefully a good solution will be found for your niece. Please take care of you and your dc.

someoneholdmyhand · 14/05/2021 06:51

I am trying to stay strong for my mum as she will need me.

OP posts:
sezyjayne · 14/05/2021 08:10

I suffer with BPD so I kind of understand your sister here. Is she getting the right support she needs? dbt didn't really work for me so maybe she needs an alternative?
Your mum should be able to challenge her accusations made against her but I'm not sure what to suggest here
All I can say is just try stay strong and supportive. I know how difficult this seems though

RecycledCurtainPole · 16/05/2021 18:29

In most parts of the Global North, 17 is below the age of consent. And sadly, abuse victims (which is what she sounds like, given the age gaps) do get raped by carers far, far more frequently than any of us dare believe.

Just because she has BPD doesnt mean she is likely to be telling the truth.

RecycledCurtainPole · 16/05/2021 18:31

arrrgh typo. What I mean is I BELIEVE YOUR SISTER

someoneholdmyhand · 16/05/2021 20:25

It turns out she wasn't having sex with her Carers just got another older boyfriend

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.