I've been suffering from OCD since forever; I got a course of CBT to deal with it and it was useless, really. It was delivered via Zoom and we were about 8 people in the meetings. Not enough time to deal with everybody, I think even the therapist found it hard to deliver the sessions online.
Nobody knows what goes on in my mind, I told DH but he largely ignored what I said (which is fine, most people would agree it's my responsibility to deal with my mental health). I haven't seen my family in 2 years, my DC are very little (under 4).
I feel like exploding, most people I know think I'm happy, functioning, enjoy life, and quite optimistic. I really don't know what to do, I have always tried not to take any meds, as apparently they work only marginally with OCD, but I'm exploding, I keep thinking I should run away, my kids will be much better without me around 
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